A New You!

A New You!

"I really Love the ME that I have become." (c) Chanel Bastfield

Happy Monday Everyone! I pray you had a great weekend. Are you still paying it forward? .....

This week's blog is really dear to me, not that they all aren't... but this one is special. I was having a conversation with a friend & I made the following statement: "I really Love the ME that I have become."   I reflected on my life, the person I was and the person I have evolved into and I've come to realize, I really LOVE ME! It's not that my life is perfect. Far from it. But, I've made changes in my life that have developed me into a better person. Not perfect, but better. My decisions are different, my perspective is different, my attitude is different, my patience has gotten A LOT better, my appreciation for life has increased, my desire to help others has intensified, my outlook about forgiveness has changed...etc. If it had not been for the storms of my life, perhaps I would not be here. So, today...I can say I'm thankful for them. While going thru it I couldn't but now on the other side I am thankful. Life happens and you can either let your situations define you or you can learn from them and become a better person. I thank God for the mind to learn from my situations. So, when people tell me "I've changed" I take it as a compliment! No, I'm NOT involved in some of the things I used to be involved with. No, I don't do some of the stuff I used to do. Yes, I DO have a conscious & that prevents me from participating in certain things. Yes, I have made mistakes. Yes, I have done plenty of things that I am not proud of. But...It was those things that have shaped and molded me and... I am New! Still a work in progress...but who isn't? I have a long way to go but I can honestly say, love the road that I'm now on. Today, I just feel better about myself. And for that I'm Proud!

You may be in the same place. Where things aren't perfect externally, but internally you're just really in a great space! You may not have the job, partner, finances, home, car etc...but you can have an internal abundance that makes you view your "lack" in a totally different light. You may lose some friends, relationships etc but don't give up on this journey! Just continue to show love, be understanding, non-judgmental, empathetic & be at peace. Can you honestly say that you love the person you are today? Can you honestly say that thru it all...you're a far better person today than you were, let's say a year ago? If so...celebrate, you should be proud of yourself. I know I sure am! *smile*

Have a wonderful week!

Chanel-

When a Door Closes

When a Door Closes

Hello Everyone! I pray your week has been great thus far. Please take some time to enjoy this beautiful weather and do something nice for yourself. You deserve it!

I was listening to a word this week that spoke to me loud and clear. Thus me sharing with you in this week’s blog, "When a Door closes." The message was simple but so deep enhanced by the mental picture I received while listening. When a door closes....God is redirecting you. Simple. The picture and quote above shows you what was in my head as I listened to the message. Redirection. Meaning...you are headed in the wrong direction and in order for you to become your authentic self, God will shut the door to redirect you. I know we've all heard the "when one door closes...another one opens" saying, and this is very true but I want to zero in on the closed door for this blog.

The closure is/was not rejection (someone needed to hear that...I know I did) but the universe exercising redirection. Oftentimes when doors close, we look at it from a negative perspective or take it as rejection. Followed by us being disappointed, crushed, confused & uninspired. Instead, see it as the door had  to be closed in order for you to receive what has YOUR name on it. We spend way too much time focused on the door that has shut that we don't see the wonderful opportunities that will manifest via the open one. Ones that in fact may already BE manifesting in your life! The door is shut. Accept it and embrace it. Be excited about your life being redirected by the author OF your life. Accepting a closed door isn't always easy. Besides, we have our lives all mapped and planned out, right? (Sarcasm)

When a door shuts... many times, they led to situations, habits, relationships, jobs, major decisions, plans etc  that needed to either not happen or stop happening...for our own good, growth & destiny. There is something better waiting on you. Something that will far exceed your original plans and desires. The door was shut...to redirect you towards that certain something. Don't waste anymore time pulling and stressing over the closed door. Perhaps we didn't have the strength to close the door...or the common sense to. Either way...the universe did it for you. Be glad about that!

I pray this was JUST what someone needed to hear.

Have a super dooooper week!

Chanel-

Miss. Communication.

Miss. Communication.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Good Morning Everyone! I'm fresh from vacation and getting back into the swing of normal life! Vacations are so awesome but coming back to work takes effort to say the least. lol Are you still paying it forward? I am! It feels amazing to do something nice for someone and I can't stress it enough.

This weeks blog is about communication. How well do you communicate? How many times have you said something to someone and they totally misunderstood or misinterpreted what you said? How many times have the lines of communication been so morphed that you left the conversation feeling overwhelmed, confused and frustrated? Well, if I could write a book on just those few questions, I'd probably be rich! From personal experience I can share that I've been involved in certain situations where I've literally felt like I was speaking a foreign language to someone in my attempts to have a simple conversation with them. No matter how uncomplicated I spoke, they just never seemed to understand where I was coming from. No matter how much of a loving tone I put on my words, they just always seemed to read something negative. No matter how open tried to be with sharing of feelings, thoughts, ideas or perspectives, they always seemed to shut them down.

Trust me, I've had my share and to tell you the truth I walked away from those situations feeling like, "Why do they hear something totally different from what I'm saying??!" Then......It.....Hit......Me.

Communication is more than just the words you use, the tone and the delivery. Effective Communication has more to do with perception, life experiences and the battlefield of the mind. Notice I used effective here and that I feel is key. Many people have been hurt, abused, let down, disappointed, neglected etc and all these factors come into play when you are communicating even the simplest information to them. When you are attempting to have an emotionally heavy or difficult conversation with someone who has been hurt or disappointed so much in their lives...their perception of what you are actually saying can be jaded by what they've come accustom to. Hurt. Many people don't know how to have constructive conversations. Many people are actually thinking of a rebuttal as the other person speaks as opposed to actually listening. In addition, when the other person is speaking, they also have to fight through the damaged perceptions of their mind to decipher what they think the person means. Most times...we are wrong when we arrive at what we think someone means vs what they are saying to us. Now you can see how communication can get fuzzy and frustrating.

The next time you're having a difficult conversation, I challenge you: stop looking beyond the words and start hearing with a clear mind. Set aside past hurt, disappointments, anger, resentment etc and listen to what the other person is saying. Imagine how many great relationships can be saved if one or both individuals avoid listening with their hearts and the damaged portions of their minds....but rather the sound, healthy & rational regions. We've all done it. At some point in our lives we've all totally missed the mark when someone was attempting to communicate with us. This can cost us friendships, relationships, jobs etc. The picture above illustrates how people hear the exact same thing in many different ways. With practice, understanding & patience you can become a better communicator and those people in your circle will reap the benefit.

Have a great week!

Chanel-

Happy or Sad? You make the decision.

Happy or Sad? You make the decision.

"You know why it's hard to be happy? Because you find it hard to let go of the things that make you sad." (c) The Notebook

I pray you all had a great week! Summer is here and I'm actually very excited for what this summer will bring me. Bring on the heat!

 First, I want to thank all of you that comment, send me text messages, emails & calls about this blog. It really serves as an inspiration to me and it does keep me going, even when I don't feel like it. You keep me accountable. So, thank you...thank you and thank you again. It means so much.

I came across the above quote on twitter and I just had to blog and share with you all. I actually started this reframing about a year and a half ago...when I find myself thinking about things that make me sad, I immediately replace it with thoughts that make me happy. It works! It's common place to get in the dumps about something. In fact, life & experience will often bring us things that will not be very pleasant. But, we DO have a special ability to neutralize how we feel and how long we feel it.

There are some memories that I honestly don't want to remember...but I have to. Although very hurtful, painful and just down right sad...they've shaped and molded me into the person I am. So, I thank God now that those thoughts DO return every now and again. They serve as a reminder of how much I've overcome, how much He loves me, and how much stronger...better...& wiser I am.

Some people get "stuck" in constantly thinking about those things that make them sad. They refuse to let go of the pain. Not on purpose, but it's just the way their mind has been operating most of their lives. You know the folks, who almost never seem happy or joyful? They are almost always the black cloud when you speak to them or when they are in your company? They give negative and sad reports about everything in their lives!? It almost makes you want to ask, "Are you EVER happy?" "Do you EVER have a positive experience to share?!"

Do me a favor; share this blog link with them. This can be your Pay It Forward. Plant the seed of "letting go and really being happy" into their lives. This starts with reprogramming thoughts. I've beat this so many times but, the art of positive thinking is what I stand by and encourage in ALL areas of living. This goes for emotional health, spiritual health, physical health and mental health. It's a decision to make...do you want to always be in a state of unhappiness/saddness or happiness and joy? You decide.....

Have a great week!

Chanel-

Don't Forget to Live...Kanye West

In all your striving...Don't forget to live.

This blog will not be the "typical" blog. It's more so a personal revelation. If you get something from it, great. If not...at some point in your life I pray it is brought back to your remembrance and you will.

I was listening to one of Kanye West songs from the 808 Heartbreak album. I've listened to it hundreds of times over the past few years. But today, I heard something on one of the tracks that hit especially home for me and was really a light bulb moment. The track "Welcome Heartbreak" jilted me into a "wow" moment and I was rendered speechless for a few seconds. I wondered why I had never heard or digested the lyrics before even though I've sang it a million times?! Then it came to me...because it wasn't meant for me to at that stage of my life. But now, I'm here and it made perfect sense. I just want to share a few of the lyrics with you:

My friend showed me pictures of his kids
And all I could show him was pictures of my cribs
He said his daughter got a brand new report card (card)
And all I got was a brand new sports car
And my head keeps spinning
Can't stop having these visions
I gotta get wit' it
G'head crack a joke all the kids laugh
But I couldn't hear em all the way in first class
Chased the good life my whole life long
Look back on my life and my life gone
Where did I go wrong?
My god sister gettin' married by the lake
But I couldn't figure out who I want to take
Bad enough that I showed up late
I had to leave 'fore they even cut the cake
Welcome to Heartbreak

I've spent most of my adult years (thus far) striving for this perfect life. Career, finances, real estate, academics etc. Pushing myself. Aiming for better. BEST. I've put things on hold and just delayed many things in my life. Now, at 34...I look around and most of my friends have families & kids and in my opinion they are truly living! They look at me and think the same of my situation. They want the freedom I have...I desire the elements of what they have. It's funny because I never thought I would find myself wanting any of that. I feel like I have the "other stuff" but I really desire the next chapter of my life. A family. I often wonder why my life took the direction it has. I often wonder why certain things had to happen in order for me to be here. I'm looking at how life has evolved around me and I find myself saying, "Wow, where has the time gone??!!" Despite it all I can say that I'm grateful. I don't know why but I do know that everything has a season and an appointed time. This life of mine is out of my control anyway. I would not be honest if I said that I didn't at least wonder.

Listening to these lyrics, I carry on. Putting into the Universe exactly what I want out of it. Praying that the seeds I've planted. The tears I've cried. The joys of my accomplishments will eventually take root and birth a great harvest!

I'm not sure if any of you can identify with this blog. But if you are the person that can...I simply say, even in your striving and grinding and just wanting the best...don't stop living! Take life as it comes. Things may not come in the precise order that YOU think it should. Work hard, give life your all but in all of that, don't forget to live.

Have a great week!

Chanel-

Celebrate TOGETHER!

You may be blocking your OWN blessing

Happy Monday...I pray you all had an amazing weekend. I know I did! I'm so thankful for family & friends that love me unconditionally. It was mos def a blessed weekend.

Are you still paying it forward? If, not...do something nice for someone today. If you are, keep the positive energy flowing! The Universe thanks you!

Over the past few months, I've come across several situations where people have truly been blessed. Be it new jobs, promotions, finances, relationships, healing, new cars, homes, educational advances etc. And, it really made my heart a little heavy when they shared that there were people directly in their space that opted out of celebrating what God did for them....with them. People who they thought would be happy for them and the direction their life was taking. People that knew the struggle and "story" behind where they once were and where God has brought them to. People who for whatever reason....refused to be happy and celebrate WITH them. Then it hit me........Everyone won't celebrate with you, but that should never stop YOU from celebrating and thanking God for what He has done.

Jealousy & envy have been cancerous to many relationships, not just intimate ones. They both destroy from the inside out. If you are at a negative place in your life and you see a friend or family member being blessed...do you not know that celebrating someone else’s happiness can open the windows of heaven for you?! If you are in need of a financial blessing and someone you know just came into a big sum of money...celebrate WITH them! If you are in need of a physical or mental healing...celebrate WITH the person who has been healed. If you desire a healthy & loving relationship and someone in your space has been blessed in that area...celebrate WITH them! As long as you continue to be the person that brings the black cloud over someone else’s happiness, joy & celebration, trust and believe you reap a negative seed into your own life.

 Romans 12:15 - “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep."

We all have seasons where it may be difficult to be around people who are being blessed in an area that we are actively praying for God to move. Trust me, been there, done that...got the keychain. But what I also know is...celebrating and truly being happy for someone that is being blessed made all the difference in Him favoring ME in certain areas of my life. It also gave me encouragement that if He will do it for them, I know He can and will do it for me! More importantly, what God has for me, it is for me! He may not give me what I want but He will provide me with what I need. It's also reassuring to know that in addition to our needs...God will always throw in a few wants! *smile*

So, celebrate with your brothers and sisters who are celebrating right now. Be happy for them! Set aside your own personal feelings, opinions and SELF to just be happy and genuine. You don't know what God is doing in their life. All you see is what your natural eye shows. You have no idea how God may be moving on them spiritually by bringing this particular season to their life. Sitting around waiting and wishing for someone to fall is surely a way to keep you from being blessed. AND, it may even encourage God to move even GREATER in that person’s life. I encourage you all to rejoice and celebrate with the people in your space. It may be just the thing you need to shift and bring about your OWN breakthrough.

Have a Super Dooper week!!

Chanel-

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Holy Week 2011

Hello everyone, this weeks Blog is dedicated to the ultimate sacrifice; Jesus dying for our sins.  I'm so full right now because no matter what the sin is....He died to save us from it. To save us from ourselves.

Like us, in His human form, Jesus asked God to take the cup from Him. He KNEW what he ultimately had to do and didn't want to. He KNEW all that would come in his final hours. He cried. He asked "why?" 

This was proof to me that when I find myself in dark places I cannot beat myself up when I react in ways that are simply....human. Feeling like the things I do aren't amounting to anything. Feeling upset when I feel people misjudge or mislabel me. Feeling like, "Lord WHY ME?" Feeling like I sometimes have too much weight on my shoulders. Feeling like I've been wronged or treated ill by people that I loved and them not giving it a second thought. Feeling like I'm tired of always being the one that has to be the bigger person and show love, understanding and forgiveness. Then I remember....Jesus said, "Not MY Will but Yours Be Done." And I continue to press. I may not like all the cups dealt to me, but I thank God he saw me able to drink from the ones He has given me. I'm thankful that He deemed me strong enough to have gone though the things that I have...and I've come out like shining diamond! Gone thru the fire but Thank God I'm Stronger. Better Wiser! Enjoying this wonderful place that my life is currently in & just giving Thanks!!

I Thank Him for deciding to stay up on the cross just to save me.

Here is one of my favorite songs for this time of year.

                            Rev. James Cleveland "He Decided to Die"

When Jesus hung on Calvary,

people came from miles to see;

they said, if you be the Christ,

come down and save your life.

Oh but Jesus, my sweet Jesus,

He never answered them,

for He knew that Satan was tempting Him.

If He had come down from the cross,

then my soul would still be lost.

Chorus

He would not come down

from the cross just to save Himself;

He decided to die just to save me.

Have a great week & enjoy your Holy Week services.

Chanel-