Friday, November 18, 2011

Thanksgiving 2011

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

My, what a difference a year makes. 365 days granted to do things differently, evolve & self-reflect. Thanksgiving is one of my three favorite holidays. There are no gifts. No expectations. No price-tags. In my eyes, it's the only holiday that is truly about family. Families sharing laughter, great food and creating memories. I reflect back to last year and it wasn't one of my best memories for Thanksgiving. I had such high hopes for it. But,, what a difference a year makes. 

For me, this Thanksgiving is really special. This year I celebrate Thanksgiving: 
 Engaged (the real kind, like with a ring & more importantly the commitment behind it *smiles*)
Wedding date set
 Celebrated my 35th birthday
God willing - kids in the forecast
An amazing partner
A deeper spiritual connection
The best financial position I've EVER been in my life due to no credit of my own (thank YOU Lord)
Super fantastic Awesome genuine friends
A supportive family that is small in numbers but mighty in love
And in my right frame of mind
After the Spring Semester, I will be 3 classes away from finishing Graduate School!
What more could I ask for? Nothing!

I have so much to be thankful for and I know all of my blessings come from God. Without Him I am nothing. I'm a work in progress but I'm loving my under construction phase! It's not always easy and it doesn't always feel good but I am indeed Stronger~Better~ & Wiser, than I've ever been.

Love up on your family & friends this Thanksgiving....we never know who may or may not be with us from year to year so, don't take anything for granted. Create new memories & new traditions. Let this be the BEST Thanksgiving you've experienced thus far. I love you all.

Enjoy your Holiday.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

"Let It GO!"

'Let It GO!"

 Hey Everyone! I pray all is well with you. It's already November! Wow. The year is almost over and I can say from personal experience, 2011 has been an amazing year! If you would have told me just one year ago that I would be where I am, I would NOT have believed it myself. All I can say is GOD IS GREAT!

This blog is simply titled, "Let it go." I'm not talking about negative things here...I'm specifically talking about the dreams & desires of your heart. Let it go. The things you've been praying for, seeking & desiring. Let it go. Your goals, your aspirations, your ideal future. Let it go. The thing that is so sweet to you at this very moment in your day dream, you obsess, you ponder... over if or when it will come to reality. Let it go.

After you've done the work. Put in the effort. Whisper your desires to the Universe. Release it & Let it go.

I know this is harder for some of us than others. I know I have to work at it daily. But, the one thing I do know is that YOU can only do but so much. After you've put in the work to set the wheels of your desires in motion...the universe is the ultimate deciding factor in terms of if, when, where & how it all unfolds. That I know.  I found in my journey that when you release those things you desire and simply live, they will oftentimes fall into your lap with little to no effort. When you least expect it. Things just....happen. At the perfect time, under the perfect circumstances it will all fall into place. THAT'S when you know it's meant to be. When things just flow and simply fall into place. It's divine timing. If it's meant to be it will be. You cannot keep obsessing over it, worrying about if it will happen or when. Take it as far as you humanly can...then release it back to the universe. 

God knows your dreams, your desires and your ultimate destiny. If the thing you pray for doesn't come in the exact form or timing you expect...please know one thing for sure...when He blesses you, it will be far greater than you could have ever imagined and the timing will be perfect. 

Testimony: I prayed for something very specific. I thought I knew what I needed and when I needed it. I devoted time, energy and gave it 100% of myself. I did all I could. I gave it my all and I thought if I just did that...everything would work out! I couldn't understand why things weren't. I tried so hard to make it a success. But it came to an end. God hit the breaks on it. I know it was Him. But, it was my test. I heard Him say: "You passed the test. NOW, I will bless you." You see, I was doing the right things, even though my intentions were always misread. I was sacrificing for others before myself. I was faithful. I was true. I was dedicated. I was using all the tools I learned the year prior to help me be a better person. I was praying and staying obedient through it all...even though things seemed unfair. I knew my heart was in the right place even when things started to fall apart. Then....I let it go. And out of nowhere...He opened the windows of heaven and blessed me far greater than I could have EVER imagined! I mean, when I tell you things have happened for me this year that only GOD could have done. Every area of my life that came under attack the months and year before were restored 10 times! I watched it all be given back to me bigger and better than it was before. I watched it all happen right before my eyes! He kept his promise to me, that if I could just hold on and make it through my storm...he would restore. More importantly, I learn some valuable life lessons in that season and I'm thankful for the experiences. I would not be the person I am today had it not been for that season of my life. It always brings me to tears because I know the season I had to get get to this side. It was painful, lonely, frustrating & scary. But I held on and released my desires to the Universe and today I stand strong, humble and thankful! 

So, let it Go & know that if it's meant for you...your name is already on it, and it will be granted to you in due season. Hold on.

Have an amazing week!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Time. And Emotional Wounds.

Time. And Emotional Wounds.

Hello Everyone! It's been a minute but I finally feel like I'm in a cruise control mode with the semester starting,    saying farewell to an amazing 8 day 7 night vacation, a few big Served Chilled Bartending private events, and family planning health appointments every other week...and making sure the home is prepared for the upcoming winter season. It's been so much going on but things have calmed down now so I can create another blog entry.

Pay It Forward: While in Clearwater, Florida for the day...I gave a young man and his family a parking meter slip so they did not have to pay. I paid $10 for a max ticket and it was still about 10 hours left to be used.

This blog will focus on the issue of time, wounds and healing. Think back to a situation in your life that really had a strong hold over it tears, pain, anger, frustration, confusion worry etc. Think about how much of an impact it had on your thoughts, daily function, sleeping & eating habits, mood etc. Now, does that situation still have the same effects on you & your life? Probably not. 
Speaking from personal experiences I can honestly say that I truly thank God that those things that held me captive emotionally, spiritually & physically no longer have power or a place in my life! It's like, you realize in a stolen moment, "hey...that no longer gets to me like it used to!" Things that really had the ability to change your mood, personality and mind-set no longer affect you in any way. That's such a blessing. I say that because you wiould be surprised how many people get stuck in situations and years later they are still allowing those things to have power over them. 
I'm going to disagree with the quote: "Time heals all wounds." I'm going to say that it isn't just time but what you do WITH the time. You can have all the time in the world but if your mind, heart and outlook aren’t changed for the will still be wounded, broken & unable to move forward with your life. So, let's change that to: "Constructive Time...heals all wounds." I would have never made it through my "wound season" if I didn't change my outlook about life, return to the center of my life & obtained the lesson from the situations. Those are key. There is a lesson & purpose in every situation. You cannot rely on time alone. You must be proactive in your healing, deliverance & victory. There are still some people out there waiting on "time" to heal what their mind continues to inflict injury upon. A sore doesn't heal if continuously pick at it. No matter how much time passes. You have to give it the proper care and protection to heal properly. The same rules apply to emotional & spiritual wounds.


Have an amazing week!

Monday, August 8, 2011

A New You!

A New You!

"I really Love the ME that I have become." (c) Chanel Bastfield

Happy Monday Everyone! I pray you had a great weekend. Are you still paying it forward? .....

This week's blog is really dear to me, not that they all aren't... but this one is special. I was having a conversation with a friend & I made the following statement: "I really Love the ME that I have become."   I reflected on my life, the person I was and the person I have evolved into and I've come to realize, I really LOVE ME! It's not that my life is perfect. Far from it. But, I've made changes in my life that have developed me into a better person. Not perfect, but better. My decisions are different, my perspective is different, my attitude is different, my patience has gotten A LOT better, my appreciation for life has increased, my desire to help others has intensified, my outlook about forgiveness has changed...etc. If it had not been for the storms of my life, perhaps I would not be here. So, today...I can say I'm thankful for them. While going thru it I couldn't but now on the other side I am thankful. Life happens and you can either let your situations define you or you can learn from them and become a better person. I thank God for the mind to learn from my situations. So, when people tell me "I've changed" I take it as a compliment! No, I'm NOT involved in some of the things I used to be involved with. No, I don't do some of the stuff I used to do. Yes, I DO have a conscious & that prevents me from participating in certain things. Yes, I have made mistakes. Yes, I have done plenty of things that I am not proud of. But...It was those things that have shaped and molded me and... I am New! Still a work in progress...but who isn't? I have a long way to go but I can honestly say, love the road that I'm now on. Today, I just feel better about myself. And for that I'm Proud!

You may be in the same place. Where things aren't perfect externally, but internally you're just really in a great space! You may not have the job, partner, finances, home, car etc...but you can have an internal abundance that makes you view your "lack" in a totally different light. You may lose some friends, relationships etc but don't give up on this journey! Just continue to show love, be understanding, non-judgmental, empathetic & be at peace. Can you honestly say that you love the person you are today? Can you honestly say that thru it're a far better person today than you were, let's say a year ago? If so...celebrate, you should be proud of yourself. I know I sure am! *smile*

Have a wonderful week!

Monday, July 18, 2011

When a Door Closes

When a Door Closes

Hello Everyone! I pray your week has been great thus far. Please take some time to enjoy this beautiful weather and do something nice for yourself. You deserve it!

I was listening to a word this week that spoke to me loud and clear. Thus me sharing with you in this week’s blog, "When a Door closes." The message was simple but so deep enhanced by the mental picture I received while listening. When a door closes....God is redirecting you. Simple. The picture and quote above shows you what was in my head as I listened to the message. Redirection. are headed in the wrong direction and in order for you to become your authentic self, God will shut the door to redirect you. I know we've all heard the "when one door closes...another one opens" saying, and this is very true but I want to zero in on the closed door for this blog.
The closure is/was not rejection (someone needed to hear that...I know I did) but the universe exercising redirection. Oftentimes when doors close, we look at it from a negative perspective or take it as rejection. Followed by us being disappointed, crushed, confused & uninspired. Instead, see it as the door had  to be closed in order for you to receive what has YOUR name on it. We spend way too much time focused on the door that has shut that we don't see the wonderful opportunities that will manifest via the open one. Ones that in fact may already BE manifesting in your life! The door is shut. Accept it and embrace it. Be excited about your life being redirected by the author OF your life. Accepting a closed door isn't always easy. Besides, we have our lives all mapped and planned out, right? (Sarcasm)
When a door shuts... many times, they led to situations, habits, relationships, jobs, major decisions, plans etc  that needed to either not happen or stop happening...for our own good, growth & destiny. There is something better waiting on you. Something that will far exceed your original plans and desires. The door was redirect you towards that certain something. Don't waste anymore time pulling and stressing over the closed door. Perhaps we didn't have the strength to close the door...or the common sense to. Either way...the universe did it for you. Be glad about that!

I pray this was JUST what someone needed to hear.
Have a super dooooper week!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Miss. Communication.

Miss. Communication.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Good Morning Everyone! I'm fresh from vacation and getting back into the swing of normal life! Vacations are so awesome but coming back to work takes effort to say the least. lol Are you still paying it forward? I am! It feels amazing to do something nice for someone and I can't stress it enough.

This weeks blog is about communication. How well do you communicate? How many times have you said something to someone and they totally misunderstood or misinterpreted what you said? How many times have the lines of communication been so morphed that you left the conversation feeling overwhelmed, confused and frustrated? Well, if I could write a book on just those few questions, I'd probably be rich! From personal experience I can share that I've been involved in certain situations where I've literally felt like I was speaking a foreign language to someone in my attempts to have a simple conversation with them. No matter how uncomplicated I spoke, they just never seemed to understand where I was coming from. No matter how much of a loving tone I put on my words, they just always seemed to read something negative. No matter how open tried to be with sharing of feelings, thoughts, ideas or perspectives, they always seemed to shut them down.
Trust me, I've had my share and to tell you the truth I walked away from those situations feeling like, "Why do they hear something totally different from what I'm saying??!" Then......It.....Hit......Me.

Communication is more than just the words you use, the tone and the delivery. Effective Communication has more to do with perception, life experiences and the battlefield of the mind. Notice I used effective here and that I feel is key. Many people have been hurt, abused, let down, disappointed, neglected etc and all these factors come into play when you are communicating even the simplest information to them. When you are attempting to have an emotionally heavy or difficult conversation with someone who has been hurt or disappointed so much in their lives...their perception of what you are actually saying can be jaded by what they've come accustom to. Hurt. Many people don't know how to have constructive conversations. Many people are actually thinking of a rebuttal as the other person speaks as opposed to actually listening. In addition, when the other person is speaking, they also have to fight through the damaged perceptions of their mind to decipher what they think the person means. Most times...we are wrong when we arrive at what we think someone means vs what they are saying to us. Now you can see how communication can get fuzzy and frustrating.
The next time you're having a difficult conversation, I challenge you: stop looking beyond the words and start hearing with a clear mind. Set aside past hurt, disappointments, anger, resentment etc and listen to what the other person is saying. Imagine how many great relationships can be saved if one or both individuals avoid listening with their hearts and the damaged portions of their minds....but rather the sound, healthy & rational regions. We've all done it. At some point in our lives we've all totally missed the mark when someone was attempting to communicate with us. This can cost us friendships, relationships, jobs etc. The picture above illustrates how people hear the exact same thing in many different ways. With practice, understanding & patience you can become a better communicator and those people in your circle will reap the benefit.

Have a great week!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Happy or Sad? You make the decision.

Happy or Sad? You make the decision.

"You know why it's hard to be happy? Because you find it hard to let go of the things that make you sad." (c) The Notebook

I pray you all had a great week! Summer is here and I'm actually very excited for what this summer will bring me. Bring on the heat!
 First, I want to thank all of you that comment, send me text messages, emails & calls about this blog. It really serves as an inspiration to me and it does keep me going, even when I don't feel like it. You keep me accountable. So, thank you...thank you and thank you again. It means so much.

I came across the above quote on twitter and I just had to blog and share with you all. I actually started this reframing about a year and a half ago...when I find myself thinking about things that make me sad, I immediately replace it with thoughts that make me happy. It works! It's common place to get in the dumps about something. In fact, life & experience will often bring us things that will not be very pleasant. But, we DO have a special ability to neutralize how we feel and how long we feel it.
There are some memories that I honestly don't want to remember...but I have to. Although very hurtful, painful and just down right sad...they've shaped and molded me into the person I am. So, I thank God now that those thoughts DO return every now and again. They serve as a reminder of how much I've overcome, how much He loves me, and how much stronger...better...& wiser I am.
Some people get "stuck" in constantly thinking about those things that make them sad. They refuse to let go of the pain. Not on purpose, but it's just the way their mind has been operating most of their lives. You know the folks, who almost never seem happy or joyful? They are almost always the black cloud when you speak to them or when they are in your company? They give negative and sad reports about everything in their lives!? It almost makes you want to ask, "Are you EVER happy?" "Do you EVER have a positive experience to share?!"
Do me a favor; share this blog link with them. This can be your Pay It Forward. Plant the seed of "letting go and really being happy" into their lives. This starts with reprogramming thoughts. I've beat this so many times but, the art of positive thinking is what I stand by and encourage in ALL areas of living. This goes for emotional health, spiritual health, physical health and mental health. It's a decision to you want to always be in a state of unhappiness/saddness or happiness and joy? You decide.....

Have a great week!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Don't Forget to Live...Kanye West

In all your striving...Don't forget to live.

This blog will not be the "typical" blog. It's more so a personal revelation. If you get something from it, great. If some point in your life I pray it is brought back to your remembrance and you will.

I was listening to one of Kanye West songs from the 808 Heartbreak album. I've listened to it hundreds of times over the past few years. But today, I heard something on one of the tracks that hit especially home for me and was really a light bulb moment. The track "Welcome Heartbreak" jilted me into a "wow" moment and I was rendered speechless for a few seconds. I wondered why I had never heard or digested the lyrics before even though I've sang it a million times?! Then it came to me...because it wasn't meant for me to at that stage of my life. But now, I'm here and it made perfect sense. I just want to share a few of the lyrics with you:

My friend showed me pictures of his kids
And all I could show him was pictures of my cribs
He said his daughter got a brand new report card (card)
And all I got was a brand new sports car
And my head keeps spinning
Can't stop having these visions
I gotta get wit' it
G'head crack a joke all the kids laugh
But I couldn't hear em all the way in first class
Chased the good life my whole life long
Look back on my life and my life gone
Where did I go wrong?
My god sister gettin' married by the lake
But I couldn't figure out who I want to take
Bad enough that I showed up late
I had to leave 'fore they even cut the cake
Welcome to Heartbreak

I've spent most of my adult years (thus far) striving for this perfect life. Career, finances, real estate, academics etc. Pushing myself. Aiming for better. BEST. I've put things on hold and just delayed many things in my life. Now, at 34...I look around and most of my friends have families & kids and in my opinion they are truly living! They look at me and think the same of my situation. They want the freedom I have...I desire the elements of what they have. It's funny because I never thought I would find myself wanting any of that. I feel like I have the "other stuff" but I really desire the next chapter of my life. A family. I often wonder why my life took the direction it has. I often wonder why certain things had to happen in order for me to be here. I'm looking at how life has evolved around me and I find myself saying, "Wow, where has the time gone??!!" Despite it all I can say that I'm grateful. I don't know why but I do know that everything has a season and an appointed time. This life of mine is out of my control anyway. I would not be honest if I said that I didn't at least wonder.
Listening to these lyrics, I carry on. Putting into the Universe exactly what I want out of it. Praying that the seeds I've planted. The tears I've cried. The joys of my accomplishments will eventually take root and birth a great harvest!

I'm not sure if any of you can identify with this blog. But if you are the person that can...I simply say, even in your striving and grinding and just wanting the best...don't stop living! Take life as it comes. Things may not come in the precise order that YOU think it should. Work hard, give life your all but in all of that, don't forget to live.

Have a great week!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Celebrate TOGETHER!

You may be blocking your OWN blessing

Happy Monday...I pray you all had an amazing weekend. I know I did! I'm so thankful for family & friends that love me unconditionally. It was mos def a blessed weekend.

Are you still paying it forward? If, something nice for someone today. If you are, keep the positive energy flowing! The Universe thanks you!

Over the past few months, I've come across several situations where people have truly been blessed. Be it new jobs, promotions, finances, relationships, healing, new cars, homes, educational advances etc. And, it really made my heart a little heavy when they shared that there were people directly in their space that opted out of celebrating what God did for them....with them. People who they thought would be happy for them and the direction their life was taking. People that knew the struggle and "story" behind where they once were and where God has brought them to. People who for whatever reason....refused to be happy and celebrate WITH them. Then it hit me........Everyone won't celebrate with you, but that should never stop YOU from celebrating and thanking God for what He has done.

Jealousy & envy have been cancerous to many relationships, not just intimate ones. They both destroy from the inside out. If you are at a negative place in your life and you see a friend or family member being you not know that celebrating someone else’s happiness can open the windows of heaven for you?! If you are in need of a financial blessing and someone you know just came into a big sum of money...celebrate WITH them! If you are in need of a physical or mental healing...celebrate WITH the person who has been healed. If you desire a healthy & loving relationship and someone in your space has been blessed in that area...celebrate WITH them! As long as you continue to be the person that brings the black cloud over someone else’s happiness, joy & celebration, trust and believe you reap a negative seed into your own life.
 Romans 12:15 - “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep."
We all have seasons where it may be difficult to be around people who are being blessed in an area that we are actively praying for God to move. Trust me, been there, done the keychain. But what I also know is...celebrating and truly being happy for someone that is being blessed made all the difference in Him favoring ME in certain areas of my life. It also gave me encouragement that if He will do it for them, I know He can and will do it for me! More importantly, what God has for me, it is for me! He may not give me what I want but He will provide me with what I need. It's also reassuring to know that in addition to our needs...God will always throw in a few wants! *smile*
So, celebrate with your brothers and sisters who are celebrating right now. Be happy for them! Set aside your own personal feelings, opinions and SELF to just be happy and genuine. You don't know what God is doing in their life. All you see is what your natural eye shows. You have no idea how God may be moving on them spiritually by bringing this particular season to their life. Sitting around waiting and wishing for someone to fall is surely a way to keep you from being blessed. AND, it may even encourage God to move even GREATER in that person’s life. I encourage you all to rejoice and celebrate with the people in your space. It may be just the thing you need to shift and bring about your OWN breakthrough.

Have a Super Dooper week!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Holy Week 2011

Hello everyone, this weeks Blog is dedicated to the ultimate sacrifice; Jesus dying for our sins.  I'm so full right now because no matter what the sin is....He died to save us from it. To save us from ourselves.
Like us, in His human form, Jesus asked God to take the cup from Him. He KNEW what he ultimately had to do and didn't want to. He KNEW all that would come in his final hours. He cried. He asked "why?" 

This was proof to me that when I find myself in dark places I cannot beat myself up when I react in ways that are simply....human. Feeling like the things I do aren't amounting to anything. Feeling upset when I feel people misjudge or mislabel me. Feeling like, "Lord WHY ME?" Feeling like I sometimes have too much weight on my shoulders. Feeling like I've been wronged or treated ill by people that I loved and them not giving it a second thought. Feeling like I'm tired of always being the one that has to be the bigger person and show love, understanding and forgiveness. Then I remember....Jesus said, "Not MY Will but Yours Be Done." And I continue to press. I may not like all the cups dealt to me, but I thank God he saw me able to drink from the ones He has given me. I'm thankful that He deemed me strong enough to have gone though the things that I have...and I've come out like shining diamond! Gone thru the fire but Thank God I'm Stronger. Better Wiser! Enjoying this wonderful place that my life is currently in & just giving Thanks!!

I Thank Him for deciding to stay up on the cross just to save me.

Here is one of my favorite songs for this time of year.

                            Rev. James Cleveland "He Decided to Die"

When Jesus hung on Calvary,

people came from miles to see;

they said, if you be the Christ,
come down and save your life.
Oh but Jesus, my sweet Jesus,
He never answered them,
for He knew that Satan was tempting Him.
If He had come down from the cross,
then my soul would still be lost.

He would not come down
from the cross just to save Himself;
He decided to die just to save me.

Have a great week & enjoy your Holy Week services.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Making Better Decisions

Making Better Decisions

Pay It Forward: Starting next month I will be volunteering my time at Roberta's House as a Grief and Loss dialogue facilitator. Roberta's House is a safe place where children, teens and adults discover that they are not alone in their grief and engage in mutual help. Children with their families share their feelings, memories and experiences in an atmosphere of acceptance with the love and support of trained volunteers.  
Roberta's house volunteers with professional staff assist children, teens and adults on how to experience and express their feelings safely and in a healthy manner. Working through the necessary grief task and understanding the essential needs of a child's grief allow families to support each other and communicate more effectively.  At Roberta's House children/families and adults can receive the support they need and look to the future with confidence and hopeful anticipation to develop quality relationships.

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” - Albert Camus

This week’s blog is centered on making better decisions. I selected the above quote because life is INDEED the sum of all our choices. There are some people that always seem to make the worst possible decisions in many areas of their lives. That one person, that often makes you ask the question "What were you thinking when you made THAT decision??!" It seems they always find themselves in a bind, crazy situation or really dangerous position simply because of the decisions they have made. I'm sure we all know at least one person in our space that fits that bill.
It is true that even when we make the wrong decisions, we can learn something from them. When we are open to learn from those situations, a wrong decision has the ability to build character, make us humble, wiser, strong & better. The key here is learning from them. You should NOT find yourself making the same bad decision(s) over and over again. This is actually a pattern of destructive behavior and the consequences are oftentimes more severe and detrimental to your overall well-being.
When you visualize the progression of your life, your goals, aspirations etc....the decisions you make today should reflect those things. Meaning, the decisions you make today should reflect where you ultimately want to end up. If you are making foolish, unwise & emotional based decisions your destination and journey will reflect those decisions. Please know, I'm not saying that everything will end up just as you planned it but I will say that when you make faith-based decisions from a place of wisdom (having most if not all the information needed) you are allowing the universe to guide you in the right direction.
When I make decisions at this point of my life I ask myself, "How does this particular decision align with where I want my life to progress?" I try to make the best possible decisions. If the decision/action is in direct contradiction to what I want in my future...I avoid it. I don't always succeed but I am at least mindful of the impact making a bad decision can have on those things I want in my future. **I would be doing this blog a disservice if I left out the fact that many times, making NO decision out of fear of making the wrong one can be just as destructive as making a bad one.**
If you want a better credit score: make decisions that will help you on that journey. STOP using your charge cards, pay some off, opt out of buying something you really don't need, budget your money and pay bills on-time etc. If you want a healthy loving relationship: make the decision to invest time with your partner, establish lines of trust, peace, discover ways to become or re-establish your friendship, keep the BIG monsters OUT of your relationship (we all know what they are). If you want a career change: make the decision to go back to school, take a few courses to brush up on your skills if you are rusty in some areas, attend job fairs, update your resume' etc.
Making better decisions is critical to your journey and the path you take to get there. I challenge us all to make the decision to make better decisions....the course of your life will thank you for it!

Have a super week!

“Life is the sum of all your choices.” - Albert Camus

Monday, March 14, 2011

Take the Risk!

The Reward of Risk

(Please take a few seconds to read the text in the above Picture....)

"I would rather fail in trying, than succeed at being mediocre."  - Chanel T. Bastfield

Good Afternoon Everyone! I pray your weekend was splendid and you had a chance to enjoy the wonderful weather.

Pay It Forward: I sponsored a child from my church to play laser tag. The fee was only $13 bucks but with the economy being so fickle, that may be the determining factor in whether a kid can go on the trip or not. So...I gave the money for an unknown kid to enjoy a day of laser tag fun.

This week’s blog is about taking risk! I've been researching Dr. Ben Carson all morning and he has some great insight into the notion of taking acceptable risk. The key term being acceptable. If you never step out of your comfort zone and launch out into the deep, how will you ever learn or experience the FULL potential of what this life has for YOU. In my opinion, we tend to stay in our comfort zones because it's the safe space that we feel we have control over. If we stick to what we know, we minimize our chances of getting disappointed and or rejected. As creatures of habit, being in control of our destiny and everything therein {or at least feeling like we are} makes us feel secure. Right?
Taking the risk is oftentimes associated with negative results. "It's not worth the risk" or "Avoid the risk at all cost" are just a few mindsets that keep people in a state of mediocrity. Yes, you may temporarily avoid disappointment, yes, you may temporarily feel accomplished in your complacency but you may also experience great reward and personal fulfillment in taking the risk!
For example: I think back to when I was playing the penny machines at the casino...yes, playing the penny machines were safe, didn't seem to cost me much and when I made me feel like I was doing something special by seeing 500 winner on the screen!! I graduated to playing the quarter machines I cost may be a little more and the risk of loss is higher...but when I did win was 500 QUARTERS instead of 500 PENNIES! You get the picture I'm painting?
I stepped out of my comfort zone and looked at the big picture. This helped me to see that staying safe and taking minimal risk isn't always the answer for success. There will be times when you have to throw caution to the wind and take the risk! There will be times when you have to make a decision where the risk of loss may be higher but...instead of looking at what you could lose, look at what you could possibly gain! Also, even if you make the decision to take the risk...and it's not the best decision, at least you've received a valuable life lesson and you can say, "I at least tried and I now know the results of that particular action." Dr. Carson outlines how to determine when to take the risk and his system is one that I feel could lead to empowerment in many dynamics of life! If you are interested in this topic pick up his book, Take the Risk: Learning to Identify, Choose, and Live With Acceptable Risk.
Perhaps you are dealing with an issue in your professional or personal life and you are struggling over making a move based on the risk of the decision. To get you started answer the following questions:
- What’s the best that can happen if I do this?

 - What’s the worst that can happen if I do this?

      - What’s the best that can happen if I don't do this?

       - What’s the worst that can happen if I don't do this?

The risk just may lead to an even GREATER reward!

Have an AMAZING week!


Monday, March 7, 2011

Your Reflection

Reflecting shifts your Perspective.

Good Morning Everyone. I missed a week of blogging because an acute onset of Bronchitis and an Upper respiratory infection desired to give me a week off from work and all normal activities. But...I'm alive and now back to work! Thank you for all the emails and calls. I appreciate you all.

Pay It Forward: I paid for baby supplies for a young lady that looked like she could really use some help. I don't know why I always feel like crying after a pay it forward (sometimes I do) but the feeling is amazing and I just pray that the people who are touched by this movement really remember my deeds, see the Christ in my actions and do something for someone else.

--This weeks blog will be's about reflection & the impact it can have on your perspective---

I came across another online blog that I started last year. It only had like 5 entries (not sure why I stopped) and it was a personal blog. So, it wasn't one that I shared with anyone like this was more of a mental flow of thoughts, feelings and a season I was experiencing in my life. My FIRST impulse was to quickly EXIT out and not read it. Then, I took a deep breath and decided read. The blog captured an exact time of my life that may have been lost as a distant memory had I not recorded it in written form. Wow. I mean, it's one thing to remember something but when you have the actual event recorded and captured in whatever takes on a whole new energy. So, after reading the entries...I took a few moments to, Reflect.

How many times in your life have you stumbled across an old photograph, ticket stub, heard a song, experienced a moment or smelled and scent that instantly took you back to a certain point in your life? I mean, the trigger almost made you feel the exact emotion behind the event it was SO intense? You may have even had to ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this or Where did this feeling come from?!!" All because something triggered you back to a moment of your life...I'm not speaking of only negative events here. I'm speaking of those moments in your journey through life that are a major part of who you are now...this very day.
I feel like reflective moments are given to us to evaluate, appreciate and enjoy...Life. Reflection can catapult you into a state of appreciation of the life you NOW live. It provides you with a vivid space to evaluate where your life is...and where it could have been. It also gives you an opportunity to remember and experience a moment that can give you peace, understanding and joy of certain situations. Reflecting is not dwelling, it's simply allowing yourself to BE in whatever moment is presented to you. If you take the time to reflect on your journey it may also give you clarity about other situations. You begin to see things for what they really are. You begin to realize that some things aren't as important as you once thought they were. You begin to evaluate situations in a totally different light. You begin to have peace about things that may have otherwise driven you off the deep end. You begin to value life and the things IN your life more. You begin to appreciate even the not-so-good moments. You begin to have an inner soothing about the uncertainties of life. You may begin to find the strength to keep on movin' on.

Allow yourself time to reflect. Don't get so caught up in the daily grind that you miss an opportunity to see just how far you've come, the person you’ve evolved into or the progress your life is making. You may be feeling like your life is at a stand still...or that you're stuck in limbo or that you're just gliding thru life and not really making any progress. Perhaps you're missing a loved one and just need a moment to find solidarity and comfort in their memory. Even if things are going GREAT in your life...I challenge you to reflect with an open heart, mind and spirit & be open to the universe guiding you. You'll be amazed at how your perspective about life will shift.

Have a fantastic week!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Stinkin' Thinkin'!

Is 'Stinkin Thinkin' Sabotaging Your Life?


Happy President's Day! I'm sure most of you are still enjoying the comforts of your BED but some of us are actually at work. So...enjoy your day off! I pray this Monday is amazing for you...and you touch the life of someone else in a positive way.

Pay It Forward: I returned a brand new iphone4 that someone left at a game in Atlantic City. When the gentleman met me to get the phone back he attempted to pay me for returning it. I told him, "No, just pay it forward." I could never take money for doing something that I pray someone would do for ME if I lost something really valuable.

Today I want to blog a little about a phrase I've come to love. I first heard it by way of one of my favorite inspirational speakers, Joyce Meyer. I love her..she's so animated and raw! If you don't know who Joyce Meyer is...Google her. I promise you she will be a blessing! She is hilarious but speaks such truth. Anyway...the phrase, "Stinkin Thinkin" has NEVER made more sense to me than it does at this stage of my life. I talk a lot about the power of thoughts and the impact your mind can have in ALL areas of your life. This is something that I've struggled with. I have literally had to reprogram how I think and I STILL catch myself drifting off into the land of negative thoughts but at least now, I'm mindful of it so it's easier to snap myself right back out of it! In addition, because of this…it’s also very easy for me to recognize when other people are doing it. If you're honest with yourself...for just a moment, I'm sure you can recall moments in your life where your stinkin' thinkin' was the driving force behind an action or inaction that had a negative outcome.

Stinkin thinkin' has caused people to limit themselves in terms of higher education & has caused relationships and friendships to dissolve, it has caused individuals to fall into depression...feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness...I could go on and on. The unfortunate thing is....your thoughts (thinkin') are a by-product of your life experiences so; in many cases what you are thinkin isn't actually what IS. For instance, if you are always operating from a wounded, self-defeated, hurtful, angry, bitter, guarded & untrusting will always look at circumstances in your life FROM these very places. So you are applying the same type of self-destructive thinking to NEW circumstances. Thus getting the SAME results such as: pushing people away, creating a "safe zone" in your life out of fear someone will hurt you, not applying for jobs, school etc and becoming stuck in self pity....Yes, self sabotage.
 Your thinkin' will cause you to keep reinforcing self-sabotage that in most cases is a subconscious thing. So, because you failed at school BEFORE...your stinkin thinkin' tells YOU that you won't ever be able to succeed. Because you didn't get the LAST job...your stinkin' thinkin tells YOU that I won't get this one either, so why try? Because the LAST person hurt you...your stinkin thinkin says THIS person will too! You will even subconsciously DO and LOOK for things to validate this irrational thinkin! If you meet someone that actually treats you nice and has the qualities of a wonderful partner, you will start to think, "This must be too good to be true...what is he/she hiding?" Or...You look for things that will validate something negative, when there really is nothing there! I use these examples to illustrate how this type of thinkin' can really be catastrophic to your life! Always thinkin' someone is out to hurt you, or you can’t trust people, or that you’re a failure...or always thinkin you can't or won't succeed will in fact make these things a reality! But here is the kicker, in many of these's NOT the other's YOU. Your thinkin WILL have an impact on your life and how you respond to situations. You may not always realize it or want to own up to it but it does.

So, I challenge you today...EVERY time you start to think something negative replace it with a positive thought. Joyce talks about the Battlefield of your mind... (I highly recommend this book for a great read) will show you how your stinkin thinkin' controls your life in so many negative ways. It’s not always easy and it’s very frustrating but the reward will be YOU taking a stance to change the direction of your thoughts and decisions.

Have a super doper week!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Valentine's 365

                                                                Love is.......

I was immediately attracted to this particular picture & I think its kinda dope. No matter what the's still all love.

Pay It Forward: I paid for a gentleman's items at the dollar store. I simply asked him if it was "ok" and he hesitated at first..but then he smiled and said, "That was a really nice thing to do." I must does make me feel uncomfortable at times because you never know how someone is going to react to you asking if it's ok. But..I've realized that saying, "I just want to do something nice for someone"..instead of "Let me help you" makes a difference. They don't feel like your trying to give them a handout..I guess.

The big love day is next Monday! Red balloons, candy, flowers, cards, massages and everything in between. I think it's wonderful that a special day is set aside for showing that special someone just how you feel and showering them with love. I support it 100%. I support it even more when the person knows AND feels this love all year around. Many people get caught up in the day instead of getting caught up in the fact that 02/15 is just hours away...and then what? Back to the same ole' same ole. I admire couples that really have healthy happy relationships ALL year long. They serve as a template for me and how I want my relationship to be. They have hills and valleys but understand that Valentine's Day type affection is needed even more so in the "valley" times. It makes you appreciate and cherish the high points all the more!

***80/20 rule runs across my mind*** Nobody is perfect. We ALL have flaws. Yes, even YOU! Don't let your 80 go for the 20. Instead..try to turn your 80 into 87.562 *smile* Yes, they get on your nerves, have their own set of antics and moods but knowing that YOU have someone that cares about your well-being, makes sure you have a meal most days, if you're sick you know you can count on them, if you're in need of support they are right there holding you up and cheering you on, if you need a laugh they are there to do the silly stuff that only the two of you know about (inside jokes), they are there to rub your feet when you've had a hard day, they are willing to go to bat for you...even when you're wrong as the day is, they actually understand you as a person, they support your individual dreams & aspirations & most of all....they provide you with the security of knowing... "We are IN this thing together come hell or high water!" You know that when the going gets tough and stormy...they won't just jump on the next thing sailing. They stay..stick it it it out...and weather it with you. You weather it together as a team.

Now...after reading that: I challenge you to start your 02/14 them how much you care and appreciate them.
I will not be blogging next week because I want to focus on my special someone.
You support me, you understand me...and you genuinely have my best interest at heart. You came into my life so unexpectedly. We don't know what tomorrow holds...but we know WHO holds tomorrow. Let's just keep moving forward and letting Him guide us. What we have is effortless..And for that...I'm so thankful.

Have a super dooper sexy week and Valentine's Day Folks!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Season's DO change...& it's Okay.

Season's Change....& It's Okay

Great Monday morning to you all. I pray you had a peaceful weekend. As for me..I enjoyed my awesome "Snowcation" and I didn't want it to come to an end. Although I despise the white stuff, I do appreciate the stillness and calmness it brings to the universe. I love the fact that it has the ability to slow life down a bit and I think we all need that.

Pay It Forward: I tipped a waitress a good chunk on my food bill on Saturday. I was blessed with a very successful night with my business on Friday so I wanted to share a little of what I had received. I hope it met a need for her.

This week’s blog, Season's speaking about the seasons of our lives. We have seasons where we experience moments of being lonely, trials, restructuring of relationships, financial instability & uneasiness. Then we experience seasons where friendships/relationships blossom, finances are plentiful, there's laughter, excitement, new opportunities and a great season of harvest! Then we have the seasons where there isn't much going on..nothing bad..nothing good. Just a life plateau. You go with the flow of things and just enjoy things being uneventful. We have seasons of sowing and we also have seasons of reaping.
The changing of the seasons in our lives is not only good for us but necessary for individual growth and development.
These seasons also have an impact on friendships and intimate relationships. There are people who come into our lives during various seasons and they serve a purpose for THAT season. I know we are all too familiar with the saying "Season, Reason & a Lifetime." I don't have to explain that one any further. But, I do want to stop for a minute and park it on the fact that oftentimes we hold on to relationships and friendships that are past their expiration dates. What do I mean by that? Some people come into our lives to teach us things, to challenge us, to motivate us, to serve as our reflective mirror {meaning they help us see ourselves in them}, to comfort us etc. Many of them placed by divine intervention. We don't know what the reason is but God knows. After their purpose has been served in our lives....the season's change. Please note...I'm not speaking of those connections that are divinely determined to be your "Lifetime" here. I'm speaking specifically about those connections deemed by God to be for a season. Seasonal connections expire. This is not a bad thing. It's simply the way life evolves. The ultimate purpose for our lives is to fulfill a destiny and some connections are made to assist us on that journey..nothing more. Nothing less. He designs the paths we cross, when we cross them and for what purpose they will have in getting us to where He ultimately wants us to be.
 The problem comes in when we don't want to let go of the connection for whatever reason. The connection is past its expiration date...the season has changed...but we are still holding on. This leads to relationships/friendships filled with confusion, disruption, non-productivity, side-tracking from your goals and purpose, heartache, financial problems, and just pure chaos. Many times He's trying to tell us, "Let the season change...and Let go of the connection." It's up to us to listen. In some cases HE will end the connection for us, but it’s for our own good. Holding on to relationships/friendships that have a divine expiration date will not produce good fruit. It's not always easy for us to accept this. Nor is it always easy to let go. In these situations you have to really pray and seek wisdom.
So if you're in a transitional season....accept it. Embrace it. Approach it with clarity and comfort knowing He is the driving force behind the transition. He is the meteorologist of your seasons! Your transition may involve your job, family dynamics, children coming of age, school, finances, death of a loved one, emotions, spirituality etc. Whatever the transition is…simply travel along your journey, pray and know that seasons will change....and it's okay.

Have a wonderful week!