Monday, January 14, 2013

Love and Heartbreak

Love and Heartbreak
At some point we all experience the hurt and devastation of heartbreak. It's not fun. To put it sends your life into a deep black abyss that seems endless. Love is the most powerful emotion. It has the ability to make you feel on top of the world. On the other-hand, the loss of love can make you feel like life as you know it is over.
Heartbreak usually occurs when you are on the losing side of the love coin. You want the relationship while the other person has not only ended it but moved on with their life. You feel left holding the emotional bag of failed promises and a lost future. You watch all of your dreams, hopes and plans for a future with that person go up in flames. There is no denying that heartbreak is one of the things we all wish we could avoid. To be in the position of wanting someone to love you, the way you love them, when they've made it clear that will not happen is a hard reality pill to swallow.
The fact is the other person has taken the necessary time to deal with his/her feelings and moved on from the relationship. This was all done before they officially informed you it was over. They've had time to weigh the options, get their ducks in a row, and just found the perfect {or not so perfect} time to break the news to you. This mental process on their end began some time ago. I've always said, when a relationship ends and the split is not mutual....9 times out of 10 the relationship was over long before it became official to the other person. I hope that makes sense. Well, for those of us who have been on either side of the heartbreak coin, it makes perfect sense.
If you've found this blog I'm sure you're experiencing the hurt and pain of heartbreak right now. First, I want to say that although the hurt seems unbearable right now, it does get better. You will laugh, love and feel like yourself again. I promise. I know it doesn't look like it right now but you will. The key is using this hurt and alone time constructively. By that I mean, take this time to do some self reflection, don't obsess over the person, stop taking about the breakup, don't torture yourself by constantly re-living the moment and stop strolling down memory lane and playing the "what if" game. Simply acknowledge the role you played in the relationship (both positive and negative), examine your life and make positive changes. Take care of yourself health wise and become a better you! Learn from the experience and make modifications where needed.
Can I help you grow for a second?
1. The universe has a way of protecting us even when we don't know it. God see's all and He knows all. I know you thought that person was the one but God always knows best. You don't know what the future holds, God does. There may be something coming down the line in the future that you don't know of and God is removing you from that situation so you won't get caught up in it! Just say, "Lord, I don't know why this happened but I'm thanking you anyhow!" If He deems something or someone as good he grants it. If not, He won't. It's really that simple. Just trust God on this and know that if someone is removed from your life involuntarily...there is a good reason, even if you don't see it right now. Trust God over your feelings. You'll never go wrong with that.
2. When God is working to mold you, grow you and develop you into the person you are destined to be.....there is a process. That process almost always involves pain. Sorry to be the one to break that to you but it's true. When God is trying to get your attention and draw you closer to Him...He will use situations and people for His will in your life. This heartbreak could be a result of that. Through pain, hurt and disappointment we tend to call out to God. It really sucks that we have to reach such lows in life before we seek Him. But, we are human and He knows. I'm only speaking from experience and I can assure you that through heartbreak and life's storms; I am stronger, better and wiser! I've learned to lean on Him and trust His process in my life. I will not lie and say that I enjoyed one bit of my molding. However, that heartbreak was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. It led me to Christ and made me a far better person. I love who I am now. I was made new from that situation. I'm humble, considerate and just living my best life! So you see, what you currently view as the most painful thing you've ever experienced, could turn out to be the best thing for you. After my transformation I met my wife. I'm so thankful God's timing is perfect! She got the person she deserves. I love freely. I love Christ. And more importantly, my heartbreak was preparing me for the moment when I would receive the gift of true love.
So, hang in there and know there is a reason for this season in your life. It's a process. You just have to learn whatever lesson this is teaching you. It does and will get better. Just lean on God and seek his comfort. Things will be revealed to you. Don't down play the set up for your blessing. Character and intergrity are built in those very situations we wish we could escape. Focus on becoming a better you and know that God knows what's best for your life. Trust in his process and timing. Even when you don't understand and it hurts to the core. Have faith that this will all work out for your good.