Transparency Series #1

I wanted to do something different.

This Blog isn't my typical entry.


I decided to do a blog entry just to get my thoughts recorded. I will call it my "Transparency Series." I realize that blogs are more authentic when people get to read/see vulnerability in the writer. So much has happened in the past two weeks. Some really wonderful things and some things I wish would just go away! I can say that my faith has increased here lately because for the first time in my life I realize I cannot do this thing called life without handing things over to God. I would literally worry myself into an early grave. It's like, when something goes wrong I obsess over it. Worrying about how I'm going to "fix" it..what will the outcome be? Things like that. I had to stop and say. "If I keep down this road...I'm going to cause all kinds of health problems and probably not live a authentic life." So, I decided to release control. I do what I can...and I make sure I'm living the best life I can...but other than that..I release the need to fix problems, my future or anything therein. I just can't do it. I know this is exactly where God wanted me to be all along. I just had to get tired of being tired. I must add...I have peace with it all and I like this feeling :)
For the first time in my life I'm seriously considering hanging up my school career. I have my AS and my BS degree. I am 30 credits into my MS. I'm an "A" student and school comes easy for me. But..I'm tired. My attention span at 35 is NOT the same as it was at 25. These late night 11pm classes are killing me! Especially since I've been up since 6am and had to put in 8 hours at my full-time job! It's just too much at this point. I'm going to be married soon and prayerfully having my first kid this year. School just doesn't fit into the picture anymore. I know people will say.."you're SO close to finishing!" But, they are not the ones literally waking up after a long night in school wanting to cry when it's time to get up for work the next morning. If it's meant for me to go back at some point in my life, I will. For now...I'm really just feeling like that season is over for me.
I have faith that things will work out for EVERYTHING I'm facing in this season. The baby, job, school, house, finances, health...everything. Faith is not a feeling. It's believing that despite what you see...you believe that somehow, some way...God will make a way and come through on your behalf. As He's done SO many times before.

Tired.
Expecting The Great.

I've Changed

I've Changed!

"When someone says that "You've changed"... it's usually because you've stopped living your life their way."

Hey Everyone! I pray that all is well and this blog finds each of you in the best physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. 

The above picture sums up this blog. I LOVE it! I guess I have to come from a personal place with this blog to make it more authentic. I think that using my own personal experiences every now and again is what makes MY blog unique. I'm coming from an intimate place...a real place and I hope that through my sharing people will see themselves and find peace. 

Over the past two years...my life has gone through a major transformation. Major. Sometimes I look at myself, my actions, my thought process and even I can't believe THIS is me. It's funny how life has a way of doing that. Life experiences and situations...have a way of either making you or breaking you. In my situation...I was MADE. Into a new creature. In this transformation, I've had people literally tell me, "you've changed" and at first my response was, "no, I'm the same!" I took slight offense to people telling me that I was this different person and all I could see was the same ole' me. 

A few people drifted away from me, new folks floated into my space, some friendships were challenged, some friendships had to end, and some situations were magnified times a trillion. I began to have clarity on a LOT of things. People who I thought would always be in my life...were no longer. People who I never imagined in a million years became closer than ever. Some people opted not to deal with me anymore. Some people put me at a distance. Some people talked about me behind my back. Some cheered me on. Some people found inspiration in the "new me" and expressed it in many forms. Some people had great difficulty accepting me into their lives when I was no longer the person they framed me to be. Some people were able to find commonalities with where they were and where I am and our bonds grew stronger. Some people viewed me as "fake" or not "keeping it real" anymore. Some people simply didn't care one way or the other...because to them, regardless of the changes that were made in my life...to them, I was still Chanel. Either way...I was okay with how the people in my life felt. I accepted the fact that I cannot change people...I am only accountable for myself. I would not be honest if I didn't say that some reactions hurt me but I also would not be honest if I didn't say, I quickly got over it. 

Throughout this whole experience, all I can say to everyone that knows me is that God has a funny sense of humor. He has an amazing way of showing you so many things about YOU that you may not have been aware of before. He has a way to making things come to a halt in your small little world before opening your eyes to the big picture. He has a way of using things in your life to humble you. To shape and mold you and to redirect you. That’s why I've changed. I now see what things are important and what things are not. I think differently. I react differently. I process things from a different perspective. No, I'm not perfect by ANY MEANS but I am under new management. My new life has Christ as the center and that means I can't do just any and everything. I DO feel bad when I say/do certain stuff. I am convicted when I say/do something that isn't right. I DO have a new sense of compassion and empathy for people. I no longer find certain things "fun" and I no longer desire some of the things I used to. Yes, I have changed. I am held accountable for my actions. I have my faults. My short-comings and my issues that I still deal with. But I am a new person. A better person. I still joke, entertain, and live an AMAZING life! I'm happy with who I am. I'm proud of who I am. And when the day ends...I sleep peacefully at night knowing yes I've changed. But...for the better.

Have an amazing day!!!

Chanel-

A Fresh Start...STOP beating yourself up!

A Fresh Start.....STOP beating yourself up!

Happy New Year Everyone! We are in the land of the living to see a brand new year. That in itself is a blessing. I pray 2012 will be an amazing year for each of you! I have a few "BIG Ticket" items on my prayer list for 2012 so only time will tell what this year has for me. I'm excited and thankful...in advance.

With the New Year...this blog WILL speak to someone, "You have a Fresh start...so STOP beating yourself up about it!" Whatever "it" is. Stop being so hard on yourself. If you have lived to see 2012...you were granted a fresh start to correct it, achieve it, repair it, confront it and obtain it! Thank God for fresh starts! Oftentimes, we are our own worst enemy when it comes to tormenting ourselves. We think worse of ourselves than anyone else does. We create an internal environment of mentally beating ourselves to a pulp over situations we cannot go back and change. There are people reading this blog right now that are still dealing with the guilt of situations that occurred months...even years ago! There must come a time when you confront whatever it is....acknowledge any wrong doing and then leave it alone. We are always taught to forgive other people but more importantly...we must learn how to forgive ourselves. You will be amazed just how many people can forgive others before they forgive themselves. It's impossible to move forward if you are weighed down by the guilt of something you said, something you did (or didn't do) or just not making the best decision in a given situation. 

Your life is not ONLY about the destination. It's about the journey. Along this journey we will make mistakes, we may hurt those people that are close to us and we may fall short of our standards for ourselves at times. Perhaps you feel like you haven't done all you should to be where you want to be in life, maybe you find yourself in a situation that you know could be better. Whatever you are dealing with that causes you to beat yourself up...STOP. This is a NEW Year and you've been given a fresh start. Don't let the enemy convince you that it's too late! Too late to apologize, too late to make amends, too late to address an issue, too late to achieve your goals, to pursue your dreams,  to experience the full joy of this precious life we're been granted! It's NOT too late! With each day we are given a new start and a fresh opportunity to get this thing called life right. 

Let today be YOUR day. Free yourself....you've been given a fresh start.

Have an amazing week!

Chanel-

Thanksgiving 2011

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

My, what a difference a year makes. 365 days granted to do things differently, evolve & self-reflect. Thanksgiving is one of my three favorite holidays. There are no gifts. No expectations. No price-tags. In my eyes, it's the only holiday that is truly about family. Families sharing laughter, great food and creating memories. I reflect back to last year and it wasn't one of my best memories for Thanksgiving. I had such high hopes for it. But, again...my, what a difference a year makes. 

For me, this Thanksgiving is really special. This year I celebrate Thanksgiving: 

 Engaged (the real kind, like with a ring & more importantly the commitment behind it *smiles*)

Wedding date set

 Celebrated my 35th birthday

God willing - kids in the forecast

An amazing partner

A deeper spiritual connection

The best financial position I've EVER been in my life due to no credit of my own (thank YOU Lord)

Super fantastic Awesome genuine friends

A supportive family that is small in numbers but mighty in love

Healthy

And in my right frame of mind

After the Spring Semester, I will be 3 classes away from finishing Graduate School!

What more could I ask for? Nothing!

I have so much to be thankful for and I know all of my blessings come from God. Without Him I am nothing. I'm a work in progress but I'm loving my under construction phase! It's not always easy and it doesn't always feel good but I am indeed Stronger~Better~ & Wiser, than I've ever been.

Love up on your family & friends this Thanksgiving....we never know who may or may not be with us from year to year so, don't take anything for granted. Create new memories & new traditions. Let this be the BEST Thanksgiving you've experienced thus far. I love you all.

Enjoy your Holiday.

Chanel-

"Let It GO!"

'Let It GO!"

 Hey Everyone! I pray all is well with you. It's already November! Wow. The year is almost over and I can say from personal experience, 2011 has been an amazing year! If you would have told me just one year ago that I would be where I am, I would NOT have believed it myself. All I can say is GOD IS GREAT!

This blog is simply titled, "Let it go." I'm not talking about negative things here...I'm specifically talking about the dreams & desires of your heart. Let it go. The things you've been praying for, seeking & desiring. Let it go. Your goals, your aspirations, your ideal future. Let it go. The thing that is so sweet to you at this very moment in your life...you day dream, you obsess, you ponder... over if or when it will come to reality. Let it go.

After you've done the work. Put in the effort. Whisper your desires to the Universe. Release it & Let it go.

I know this is harder for some of us than others. I know I have to work at it daily. But, the one thing I do know is that YOU can only do but so much. After you've put in the work to set the wheels of your desires in motion...the universe is the ultimate deciding factor in terms of if, when, where & how it all unfolds. That I know.  I found in my journey that when you release those things you desire and simply live, they will oftentimes fall into your lap with little to no effort. When you least expect it. Things just....happen. At the perfect time, under the perfect circumstances it will all fall into place. THAT'S when you know it's meant to be. When things just flow and simply fall into place. It's divine timing. If it's meant to be it will be. You cannot keep obsessing over it, worrying about if it will happen or when. Take it as far as you humanly can...then release it back to the universe. 

God knows your dreams, your desires and your ultimate destiny. If the thing you pray for doesn't come in the exact form or timing you expect...please know one thing for sure...when He blesses you, it will be far greater than you could have ever imagined and the timing will be perfect. 

Testimony: I prayed for something very specific. I thought I knew what I needed and when I needed it. I devoted time, energy and gave it 100% of myself. I did all I could. I gave it my all and I thought if I just did that...everything would work out! I couldn't understand why things weren't. I tried so hard to make it a success. But it came to an end. God hit the breaks on it. I know it was Him. But, it was my test. I heard Him say: "You passed the test. NOW, I will bless you." You see, I was doing the right things, even though my intentions were always misread. I was sacrificing for others before myself. I was faithful. I was true. I was dedicated. I was using all the tools I learned the year prior to help me be a better person. I was praying and staying obedient through it all...even though things seemed unfair. I knew my heart was in the right place even when things started to fall apart. Then....I let it go. And out of nowhere...He opened the windows of heaven and blessed me far greater than I could have EVER imagined! I mean, when I tell you things have happened for me this year that only GOD could have done. Every area of my life that came under attack the months and year before were restored 10 times! I watched it all be given back to me bigger and better than it was before. I watched it all happen right before my eyes! He kept his promise to me, that if I could just hold on and make it through my storm...he would restore. More importantly, I learn some valuable life lessons in that season and I'm thankful for the experiences. I would not be the person I am today had it not been for that season of my life. It always brings me to tears because I know the season I had to get through...to get to this side. It was painful, lonely, frustrating & scary. But I held on and released my desires to the Universe and today I stand strong, humble and thankful! 

So, let it Go & know that if it's meant for you...your name is already on it, and it will be granted to you in due season. Hold on.

Have an amazing week!

Chanel-

Time. And Emotional Wounds.

Time. And Emotional Wounds.

Hello Everyone! It's been a minute but I finally feel like I'm in a cruise control mode with the semester starting,    saying farewell to an amazing 8 day 7 night vacation, a few big Served Chilled Bartending private events, and family planning health appointments every other week...and making sure the home is prepared for the upcoming winter season. It's been so much going on but things have calmed down now so I can create another blog entry.

Pay It Forward: While in Clearwater, Florida for the day...I gave a young man and his family a parking meter slip so they did not have to pay. I paid $10 for a max ticket and it was still about 10 hours left to be used.

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This blog will focus on the issue of time, wounds and healing. Think back to a situation in your life that really had a strong hold over you...be it tears, pain, anger, frustration, confusion worry etc. Think about how much of an impact it had on your thoughts, daily function, sleeping & eating habits, mood etc. Now, does that situation still have the same effects on you & your life? Probably not. 

Speaking from personal experiences I can honestly say that I truly thank God that those things that held me captive emotionally, spiritually & physically no longer have power or a place in my life! It's like, you realize in a stolen moment, "hey...that no longer gets to me like it used to!" Things that really had the ability to change your mood, personality and mind-set no longer affect you in any way. That's such a blessing. I say that because you wiould be surprised how many people get stuck in situations and years later they are still allowing those things to have power over them. 

I'm going to disagree with the quote: "Time heals all wounds." I'm going to say that it isn't just time but what you do WITH the time. You can have all the time in the world but if your mind, heart and outlook aren’t changed for the positive...you will still be wounded, broken & unable to move forward with your life. So, let's change that to: "Constructive Time...heals all wounds." I would have never made it through my "wound season" if I didn't change my outlook about life, return to the center of my life & obtained the lesson from the situations. Those are key. There is a lesson & purpose in every situation. You cannot rely on time alone. You must be proactive in your healing, deliverance & victory. There are still some people out there waiting on "time" to heal what their mind continues to inflict injury upon. A sore doesn't heal if continuously pick at it. No matter how much time passes. You have to give it the proper care and protection to heal properly. The same rules apply to emotional & spiritual wounds.

Pray~Live~Heal~Rejoyce!

Have an amazing week!

Chanel-

A New You!

A New You!

"I really Love the ME that I have become." (c) Chanel Bastfield

Happy Monday Everyone! I pray you had a great weekend. Are you still paying it forward? .....

This week's blog is really dear to me, not that they all aren't... but this one is special. I was having a conversation with a friend & I made the following statement: "I really Love the ME that I have become."   I reflected on my life, the person I was and the person I have evolved into and I've come to realize, I really LOVE ME! It's not that my life is perfect. Far from it. But, I've made changes in my life that have developed me into a better person. Not perfect, but better. My decisions are different, my perspective is different, my attitude is different, my patience has gotten A LOT better, my appreciation for life has increased, my desire to help others has intensified, my outlook about forgiveness has changed...etc. If it had not been for the storms of my life, perhaps I would not be here. So, today...I can say I'm thankful for them. While going thru it I couldn't but now on the other side I am thankful. Life happens and you can either let your situations define you or you can learn from them and become a better person. I thank God for the mind to learn from my situations. So, when people tell me "I've changed" I take it as a compliment! No, I'm NOT involved in some of the things I used to be involved with. No, I don't do some of the stuff I used to do. Yes, I DO have a conscious & that prevents me from participating in certain things. Yes, I have made mistakes. Yes, I have done plenty of things that I am not proud of. But...It was those things that have shaped and molded me and... I am New! Still a work in progress...but who isn't? I have a long way to go but I can honestly say, love the road that I'm now on. Today, I just feel better about myself. And for that I'm Proud!

You may be in the same place. Where things aren't perfect externally, but internally you're just really in a great space! You may not have the job, partner, finances, home, car etc...but you can have an internal abundance that makes you view your "lack" in a totally different light. You may lose some friends, relationships etc but don't give up on this journey! Just continue to show love, be understanding, non-judgmental, empathetic & be at peace. Can you honestly say that you love the person you are today? Can you honestly say that thru it all...you're a far better person today than you were, let's say a year ago? If so...celebrate, you should be proud of yourself. I know I sure am! *smile*

Have a wonderful week!

Chanel-