Thursday, January 19, 2012

I've Changed

I've Changed!

"When someone says that "You've changed"... it's usually because you've stopped living your life their way."

Hey Everyone! I pray that all is well and this blog finds each of you in the best physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. 

The above picture sums up this blog. I LOVE it! I guess I have to come from a personal place with this blog to make it more authentic. I think that using my own personal experiences every now and again is what makes MY blog unique. I'm coming from an intimate place...a real place and I hope that through my sharing people will see themselves and find peace. 

Over the past two life has gone through a major transformation. Major. Sometimes I look at myself, my actions, my thought process and even I can't believe THIS is me. It's funny how life has a way of doing that. Life experiences and situations...have a way of either making you or breaking you. In my situation...I was MADE. Into a new creature. In this transformation, I've had people literally tell me, "you've changed" and at first my response was, "no, I'm the same!" I took slight offense to people telling me that I was this different person and all I could see was the same ole' me. 
A few people drifted away from me, new folks floated into my space, some friendships were challenged, some friendships had to end, and some situations were magnified times a trillion. I began to have clarity on a LOT of things. People who I thought would always be in my life...were no longer. People who I never imagined in a million years became closer than ever. Some people opted not to deal with me anymore. Some people put me at a distance. Some people talked about me behind my back. Some cheered me on. Some people found inspiration in the "new me" and expressed it in many forms. Some people had great difficulty accepting me into their lives when I was no longer the person they framed me to be. Some people were able to find commonalities with where they were and where I am and our bonds grew stronger. Some people viewed me as "fake" or not "keeping it real" anymore. Some people simply didn't care one way or the other...because to them, regardless of the changes that were made in my them, I was still Chanel. Either way...I was okay with how the people in my life felt. I accepted the fact that I cannot change people...I am only accountable for myself. I would not be honest if I didn't say that some reactions hurt me but I also would not be honest if I didn't say, I quickly got over it. 

Throughout this whole experience, all I can say to everyone that knows me is that God has a funny sense of humor. He has an amazing way of showing you so many things about YOU that you may not have been aware of before. He has a way to making things come to a halt in your small little world before opening your eyes to the big picture. He has a way of using things in your life to humble you. To shape and mold you and to redirect you. That’s why I've changed. I now see what things are important and what things are not. I think differently. I react differently. I process things from a different perspective. No, I'm not perfect by ANY MEANS but I am under new management. My new life has Christ as the center and that means I can't do just any and everything. I DO feel bad when I say/do certain stuff. I am convicted when I say/do something that isn't right. I DO have a new sense of compassion and empathy for people. I no longer find certain things "fun" and I no longer desire some of the things I used to. Yes, I have changed. I am held accountable for my actions. I have my faults. My short-comings and my issues that I still deal with. But I am a new person. A better person. I still joke, entertain, and live an AMAZING life! I'm happy with who I am. I'm proud of who I am. And when the day ends...I sleep peacefully at night knowing yes I've changed. But...for the better.

Have an amazing day!!!


  1. Amazing !!! I really like this, alot of this reminds me of my life situation

    1. Thanks Rita. You've supported me no matter what. You're not just my cousin but also a pretty dope friend ;)
      Love you lady.

  2. God has a way of showing us who, what, when, how and why. Only at HIS time will we know, but to continue to obedient and staying focused will you be shown. The transformation is not always easy and not always what we want, but when you come in the midst of the MOST HIGH GOD, there is no other way. Transformation starts with the renewing of your mind, allowing HIM to enter in and that is what you have allowed HIM to do. Continue your journey and HE continues to be glorified.

    1. Ayanna, you're so right. It's not always easy but in the end it works out for our good. Even when we can't see it at the time. He always has our best interest at heart. Thanks for supporting my blog.