God is in the Details. Trust His Process!

I had a self discovery moment where I realized my anxiety and stress skyrockets when I am trying to plan out, plot out and control every aspect of my life. Like, when things will happen? How they will work out when the logistics just makes no sense!? How do I position myself to reap my due season? Who? What? Where? When? Why? How!?

 

The details.

 

Then I paused and told myself, "Self, God is in the details. So just keep praying and moving forward."

 

Oftentimes we lose sight of the fact that God Himself is in the details. The small intricate details of our lives and the journey's we have been selected to travel, He cares. When we surrender control over the details of our lives we won't be as stressed, depressed and frustrated. We must simply live in our purpose. Be true to your dreams, goals and aspirations and don't worry about the logistics of how or when they will play out.

 

I try to remind myself that when you live for God and proclaim Him as your Lord and Savior there are three amazing promises that come along with that, Grace, Mercy and Favor!

 

That means:

 Sometimes things may not make sense, the numbers just don't add up, the circumstances seem impossible, the facts say it should not be, Man says it can't happen, your education says you won't qualify, your credit score reads denied, you past says you can't achieve it, your actions say you will be punished, your bank account says you can't afford it, the doctor's say there is no hope.....

BUT GOD!

 

Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

 

Trust God with the details and processes of your life. Unlike you, He has a birdseye view of your life. Not just a view of your current moment. Remind yourself that He loves you and He knows exactly where you are and what you're going through. He wouldn't bring you this far to leave you.

 

Faith~Trust~Believe!

 

 

No matter what...STAY Focused

Have you ever noticed that when you are trying to do the right things, better yourself or just trying to get your mind right...........HERE comes the devil.

 

Well, let me rephrase that... HERE comes all the naysayers, doubters, kill joys and "keep it realERS." Yes, the people who for whatever reason find it necessary to give you their two cents that you probably never asked for in the first place.

Along my journey, I found it very interesting how many people phased out of my life. I paid attention to the energy they brought...and took away from me as they left. I had to make a decision to cut some people loose because either A. they were just too negative or B. they couldn't adjust to the ME God was molding. My defining life transition was my spiritual journey that started three years ago. Some people who knew the old me took issue with the new things God was doing in my life. It's hard trying to remain spiritually grounded when natural forces don't want you to be. But...I knew if I wanted to remain on this wonderful path God was revealing to me I had to stay focused.

It was no doubt the BEST decision I've ever made.

When someone in your space is trying to do something better for themselves (no matter what your opinion is) encourage them. Give them hope. Don't be one of those people that kills someone else's dreams and aspirations. There is power in words.

Your dreams live within you. Not everyone will believe in your potential so it's critical that you remain focused. 

Ask yourself: Why now... are so many things happening to try to shift my focus from what I'm trying to do? Why now... am I facing so many road blocks to achieving my goals? Why now... are people so concerned about the positive things I'm doing in my life? Why now...are people and things from my past coming out of nowhere!?

I'll answer those for you. When you are trying to do the right things the devil will pull out all the tricks to get you to stop. Period. You just have to remain focused. Don't fall for tricks of the devil. You are on a road to greatness and that's why the devil uses people and things to distract you. That should be your cue that you're on the right path! The devil would not be so determined to stop you if something great wasn't on the other side. Trust me, I know. I'm living proof of it.

Whatever journey you're on stick with it. Be determined and don't give up. Success doesn't happen overnight. It takes work and dedication. You can and will achieve whatever you are setting out to do. Just stay focused!

Chanel-

Love and Heartbreak

Love and Heartbreak

 

 

At some point we all experience the hurt and devastation of heartbreak. It's not fun. To put it plainly....it sends your life into a deep black abyss that seems endless. Love is the most powerful emotion. It has the ability to make you feel on top of the world. On the other-hand, the loss of love can make you feel like life as you know it is over.

Heartbreak usually occurs when you are on the losing side of the love coin. You want the relationship while the other person has not only ended it but moved on with their life. You feel left holding the emotional bag of failed promises and a lost future. You watch all of your dreams, hopes and plans for a future with that person go up in flames. There is no denying that heartbreak is one of the things we all wish we could avoid. To be in the position of wanting someone to love you, the way you love them, when they've made it clear that will not happen is a hard reality pill to swallow.

The fact is the other person has taken the necessary time to deal with his/her feelings and moved on from the relationship. This was all done before they officially informed you it was over. They've had time to weigh the options, get their ducks in a row, and just found the perfect {or not so perfect} time to break the news to you. This mental process on their end began some time ago. I've always said, when a relationship ends and the split is not mutual....9 times out of 10 the relationship was over long before it became official to the other person. I hope that makes sense. Well, for those of us who have been on either side of the heartbreak coin, it makes perfect sense.

If you've found this blog I'm sure you're experiencing the hurt and pain of heartbreak right now. First, I want to say that although the hurt seems unbearable right now, it does get better. You will laugh, love and feel like yourself again. I promise. I know it doesn't look like it right now but you will. The key is using this hurt and alone time constructively. By that I mean, take this time to do some self reflection, don't obsess over the person, stop taking about the breakup, don't torture yourself by constantly re-living the moment and stop strolling down memory lane and playing the "what if" game. Simply acknowledge the role you played in the relationship (both positive and negative), examine your life and make positive changes. Take care of yourself health wise and become a better you! Learn from the experience and make modifications where needed.

 

Can I help you grow for a second?

 

1. The universe has a way of protecting us even when we don't know it. God see's all and He knows all. I know you thought that person was the one but God always knows best. You don't know what the future holds, God does. There may be something coming down the line in the future that you don't know of and God is removing you from that situation so you won't get caught up in it! Just say, "Lord, I don't know why this happened but I'm thanking you anyhow!" If He deems something or someone as good he grants it. If not, He won't. It's really that simple. Just trust God on this and know that if someone is removed from your life involuntarily...there is a good reason, even if you don't see it right now. Trust God over your feelings. You'll never go wrong with that.

 

2. When God is working to mold you, grow you and develop you into the person you are destined to be.....there is a process. That process almost always involves pain. Sorry to be the one to break that to you but it's true. When God is trying to get your attention and draw you closer to Him...He will use situations and people for His will in your life. This heartbreak could be a result of that. Through pain, hurt and disappointment we tend to call out to God. It really sucks that we have to reach such lows in life before we seek Him. But, we are human and He knows. I'm only speaking from experience and I can assure you that through heartbreak and life's storms; I am stronger, better and wiser! I've learned to lean on Him and trust His process in my life. I will not lie and say that I enjoyed one bit of my molding. However, that heartbreak was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. It led me to Christ and made me a far better person. I love who I am now. I was made new from that situation. I'm humble, considerate and just living my best life! So you see, what you currently view as the most painful thing you've ever experienced, could turn out to be the best thing for you. After my transformation I met my wife. I'm so thankful God's timing is perfect! She got the person she deserves. I love freely. I love Christ. And more importantly, my heartbreak was preparing me for the moment when I would receive the gift of true love.

 

So, hang in there and know there is a reason for this season in your life. It's a process. You just have to learn whatever lesson this is teaching you. It does and will get better. Just lean on God and seek his comfort. Things will be revealed to you. Don't down play the set up for your blessing. Character and intergrity are built in those very situations we wish we could escape. Focus on becoming a better you and know that God knows what's best for your life. Trust in his process and timing. Even when you don't understand and it hurts to the core. Have faith that this will all work out for your good.

 

 

 

 



2013 Expecting the GREAT!

This will be my final blog of 2012!

This has truly been one amazing year. I had a few silent moments when I got to work today so I went back thru the blog entries from 2012. How exciting!? I am blessed and looking forward to another wonderful year. I strive to be a better person, partner and mama to my little daughter scheduled to arrive in March.

 

 I delare that whatever comes my way in the new year, God will be there with me every step of the way! He will never leave my side and with Him all things are possible. He is my source of strength, comfort, peace, joy and anything else I need.  As with any new year you never know what will come your way. It's easy to be afraid of what may happen in 2013 But I rebuke the spirit of fear in the name of JESUS!

 

I may not know what 2013 holds.... BUT I know WHO holds 2013!!

 

Happy NEW YEAR Blog World!!

 

 

Chanel-

Updates and Baby News... Oh My!

Hahaha! I love this picture and it totally captures the energy of this blog entry.

So, I sometimes provide blog world with an intimate look into what's going on in my life and this holiday season is the perfect time to do that.

 

Where do I start....oh, school. Yeah, so I didn't quit after all. In fact, I went into this semester with my A game! I knew I could do it if I just stopped saying, "I can't do this." It makes a world of difference when you actually start speaking life. Now, please don't misunderstand....I STILL feel like it's a lot but finishing up this semester strong has changed my perspective. I'm still waiting for my grades but I'm sure I did well. The question is how well.

Now that this semester is officially over, I am now ready for my Masters degree in Negotiation and Conflict Management due to be placed IN my hand in May~! I will be done with school in 5 months! Yaaaay me!

.................Oh, and I found out this semester that I am in the top 5% of my Graduate degree class AND was the top student in both the Negotiations and Mediation classes this semester! I ROCK! Thank God I didn't give up.

 

The Baby....Sweet Princess Chandler:

 

My wife and I are expecting a little GIRL!! Many of you already know but some were left at the gender reveal party blog entry and had no clue. So, there you have it folks! Baby Bastfield is a wonderful baby girl. Chandler Talia. My daughter. OH MY GAWD I'm gonna be a MaMa!! Whoa! Sounds funny just saying that. Nicole has done AWESOME thus far. We are officially in the 3rd trimester and all is well. She passed her glucose test and has had no issues with her blood pressure. Things are just really coming along well and I'm so proud of her. I just pray I'm as good of a human oven as she has been when my turn comes.

Chandler is so active these days and Nicole is not getting much sleep. We did our tour of the OB Unit where we will deliver this week and it really made this whole thing real to the both of us. We are just so over the moon excited and thankful. God has truly blessed us. As of today we only have 90 days til her due date! We have already finished her nursery and have received so many clothes and shoes for her! We are so grateful! Chandler already has more clothes than I do and we haven't even had our baby shower yet. We just pray people actually go by our registry and get the items we scanned. If they do, we will be SET! We are scheduled to take the lactation class next month so hopefully we will get some great pointers on feeding the little one.

I'm so ready to meet my daughter. I want her to stay in the human oven for as long as she needs to but with each day I feel more and more ready to be a parent. It's taken 36 years of living to prepare me for this journey and I'm just ready. I know there are sacrifices that come with the territory but Nicole and I have just planned so much and went thru so much to get here. Now, we just have to face the challenge head on and pray for guidance in raising our kid.

We continue to pray for those families still trying to conceive. It's a long hard road but your time will come. We pray your little bundle(s) of joy is just one cycle away. Hang in there.

 

Marriage is wonderful. I have an amazing wife and the kid is healthy. I'm blessed.

 

Happy Holidays Everyone!

 

From: Chanel, Nicole, Chandler & Mr. Kameron (The Fur Baby)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Trying to Change People!

I've come to realize that we often spend way too much counter-productive time trying to change and mold other people into who we want them to be. Specifically in our intimate relationships. I can honestly say some of the biggest mistakes I've made in my own past relationships was trying to change a grown adult into the person I needed at that time in my life. Huge mistake. 

The reality is when you enter into a relationship with the expectation of the other person changing into who YOU want them to be; you are setting the stage for them to not only resent you but the demise of that relationship. 

The one thing people want to maintain in a relationship is their own identity. Even as you two become a unit they still need a sense of self in order to be whole. You cannot and will not ever complete another person. Completeness happens from within. If you are constantly trying to change them they will slowly lose a sense of who they are. Subtle things like attempting to change the way someone dresses, how they style their hair, how they speak, what their interest are...I could go on and on but you get the picture. You may think you are trying to change them for the better according to your standards but the truth is this could have very negative consequences. Resentment, bitterness and anger are often the by-products of you attempting to change your significant other.

The fact is the person you're with may never change. And...if they do change it will be something that they must want to do for themselves. You don't have the power to evoke change in another human being who does not see your vision of how they need to be. Sorry to be the one to tell you that. Lifestyle changes, like losing weight, stop smoking cigarettes, stop cursing etc...again, are all changes that must come from the internal desire to change. 

What I've learned dating my wife and now in our marriage is that in order to experience the true joy of a healthy happy relationship; you must learn to love the person right where they are. You must learn to find peace and understanding even in those things that you may see as a flaw. That's the beauty of a balanced relationship. Flaws and all. For the first time in my adult life I didn't enter into the relationship with my wife trying to change her. I accepted her for who she was and what she brought to my life. Sure, there were small things along the way that she changed for me but they were things that she ultimately wanted to change within herself. I was just the influence she needed to make it happen. And the same goes for the changes I've made in my life. But, even if she didn't...that was okay as well. We've rubbed off on each other in positive ways and we both love it!

So, I challenge you today...stop trying to change your spouse or the person you're dating. If you have that many issues with them then perhaps they are not the one for you and you need to be honest with yourself and the other person about that. Any changes that need to be made within them, life has a funny way of taking care of that. Just relax and enjoy the differences between you two and try to find a common ground. You'll appreciate your mate more when you stop trying to change them into someone they're not.

Turkey. Family and Being Thankful

I realized I missed my two year Blogiversary. October 28th, 2010 I started this blog to share my own teachable life lessons with people all around the world. I had no idea how to go about it when I started but I knew that if I prayed about the content before I posted...God would send exactly who needed to read each and every entry. I'm thankful for this blog because it allows me to share moments of my own life that have in fact helped other people. Blogging serves as a release for me and I'm thankful for the opportunity to reach the masses.
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As Thanksgiving approaches I'm reminded of so many people who have suffered loss this year. I think many people take for granted that family and friends present at the dinner table one Thanksgiving will be there the next. I pray for those who are mourning and I also pray that God comforts your heart and gives you peace.

Thank you.....
For Blessing my wife and I with Chandler
For my amazing wife who is truly my soul-mate
For a core group of friends
For a job that pays the bills as God meets my every need
For my family that has supported me in every area of my life
For my Toyota Solara that has over 223k miles on it
For a new roof that protects my family from the elements
For health and strength
For Kameron who adds so much spice to the household
For the memory of Sabre' who I miss so terribly 
For allowing me to beat the spirit of defeat, sadness and inadequacy 
For renewing my mind in terms of finances! On my way to #Team800!!
For my wonderful Church home
For my spiritual growth
For protecting me from seen and unseen dangers
For grace, mercy and favor in my life
For having my back in ALL ways and in ALL situations
For blessing me to see my 36th birthday which falls on Thanksgiving day (And even if I don't live to see it Thank you for a special place in Heaven!)
This list could really go on and on but I just wanted to take the time out to say......

Lord. I Thank You.

Happy Thanksgiving Blog World!!