Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Unrealistic Expectations

"Unrealistic Expectations"

Happy New Year!!

Wow..the first blog of 2011! I'm super excited about what this fresh New Year is going to bring. 365 more days of new mercy, favor, opportunities, blessings, growth potential, milestones, accomplishments & personal development. I don't know about you, but I'm really looking forward to this year and I pray that with each day I'm granted... I live more authentically.

This week I want to talk a little about expectations. I selected the above picture because I think most of us will agree that when you think of the word expectation...it almost always shares the word disappointment in the same thought. We place expectations on every aspect of our lives. We place expectations on our partners, children, co-workers, friends and associates. We've come to place these expectations without even realizing we are in fact doing so. It should be noted that in many of these dynamics, we should have expectations. Without them, there is no reference point nor is there accountability to the individuals involved. Example: We should have expectations of our intimate partners when it comes to certain core values and considerations of the relationship. There are certain expectations that come simply because you are in a relationship. With each relationship, the expectations will be different and will vary depending on the stage of the relationship but there are certain foundational expectations that BOTH people should have in order for the relationship to thrive and be healthy. Three of the foundational elements/expectations are trust, communication and compromise. If any of these expectations are not met and shared by the individuals involved, there is sure to be discord ultimately leading to the demise of the relationship.

This leads me into the purpose of today’s blog. Although there are certain expectations we need in order for us to remain accountable for our actions and/or inactions, we place too many unrealistic expectations on other people. We expect people to make US happy, we expect people to know what WE are feeling, we expect people to read our minds, we expect people to make US proud, we expect people to never let US down, we expect people to never make mistakes where WE are concerned, we expect people to never hurt OUR feelings, we expect people to Always come through for US when WE need them, we expect people to always be dependable, we expect people to cater to our emotions, feelings, and woes, we expect people to make US have fun, we expect expect expect! It was exhausting just typing that so I'm sure it’s even MORE exhausting for the people we expect those things from. It's exhausting to know that you are personally responsible for all of those things.

Imagine waking up each morning knowing that another person depends on you for ALL that! It's unrealistic and just like the T-Shirt says...will ONLY lead to disappointment. People are going to make mistakes. They will let you down. They will make you upset. They will not always be there for you in your time of emotional, physical and/or financial need. They will not always be able to read your mind/mood. People have limitations. People are flawed. People are not the end-all-be-all of YOUR happiness, security and well-being.

Along my journey I've come to realize...the only one that can meet and EXCEED all of the above is God. I've shifted my expectations from people...to the only one that CAN meet my every need. If you keep your focus on Him you won't have unrealistic expectations of people. I'm not an expert at it; in fact I work daily to keep my focus where it needs to be. But, in such a short time of making Him my central focus..so many doors have opened for me in many areas of my life. Some really unexpected! I’ve been granted emotional & mental stability because my shift of expectations has resulted in a significant reduction in my disappointments. I'm just happy again. I'm content because I'm not depending on other people to meet requirements and expectations that I know they cannot possible maintain.
So...I charge you today: Shift your expectations from People to the one that will NEVER let you down!

Have an amazing week! Have Peace..until we meet again.


  1. Happy New year Chanel !! Iam truly excited about this new year because I know God is going to take my life in a whole different direction this year. Ways in which I know are going to be unexpected to me. I know you know first hand how putting expectations on people can be disappointing. Well, of course I was in the same position but as I have gotten older & wiser I've learned to only expect great things from our Lord & saviour. Thank you very much for these words of encouragment and I will continue to shift my expectations from people to the one that will never let me down !

    *Love Always

  2. You hit the nail on the head! I don't "EXPECT" anything from anyone except MY FATHER. God is the only person you can depend on. Amen and Amen!

  3. Its as if you've read my mind!!! I am about to write on my own blog and somehow came across yours!!! I might as well jus say "ditto!"

  4. Cherita, as always thank you for your feedback. Yes, the older we get...we come to realize those things. I'm excietd to see the new direction life is going to take for you! I'm so proud of you Rita.

    Keshanna...You hang in there lady! I'm glad this blog met you right where you were. You always give personal testiment here and it means so much. I'm sure it helps others as well. Thank you...

    Carolyn..I'm so thankful you crossed paths with my blog! I have been praying that my words reach more people. I'm looking forward to reading your new blog! Make sure you subscribe to mine so I can get your updates! Welcome!

  5. WOW, is all I can say Chanel. Your words really do hit home for me. I do really expect people to act and react as I do. I get disappointed every time so I am learning to expect minimal from others and just continue to be me. I pray daily about people in my life to gain understanding about what position, if any they should have in my life.
    Thank you for this blog.