Lord, When will MY turn come!? Sound Familiar?

Over the past few weeks I've been surrounded by individuals who are in the season of waiting, praying and needing God to come through. In major ways. Some need jobs, some desire love and relationships, some are in need of financial favor and others in the areas of healing, restoration and just change in general. That is the motivation behind this blog entry.

 

It's amazing that many are focusing on what they desire simply because they see how God is moving in the lives of others. Asking the age old question, "Lord when will my turn come!?" In due season is one of those things that can truly be a test in itself. In due season could be minutes, days, months or years. That's a hard pill to swallow. As believers, it's hard to wrap our minds around the fact that something we've been seeking God for may take longer than we think it should. It's hard to accept that some prayers we may actually have to wait for. It's hard to accept that what we desire may require some mental, emotional, spiritual and character conditioning before it happens. Or...it may not happen at all if it's not in our best interest or doe not align up with the plan God has for our lives.

 

I honestly can't believe that I've finally arrived at the place where I can say, "Lord, it is well with my soul." Specifically regarding one area that I have been praying and seeking God to move in my favor. In fact, I've been holding on for about 3 years now. While I think it should have happened long ago and I've come so close a few times...it hasn't. Why? I have no clue but, it is well...with my soul. That feels so amazing to say and believe. I've arrived at the place where I trust that God has a birds-eye-view of the bigger picture. He knows why it hasn't happened and when it will. Notice that although I've acknowledged that it may be a blessing delayed...I know it's not a blessing denied. I said...when, because I know by faith that it will, just not now. I trust God's plan way more than I trust my desires. One of my favorite sayings is, "The Universe has a weird way of protecting us and providing provisions when our desires align with Gods plan for our lives." I believe that.

 

So, if you're one of those people asking the question, "Lord when will my turn come!?" just know....it will be so perfect and so on-time that this delay will all make sense. You will have that ah-ha moment when it finally does come to be. That will be followed by a praise because as you reflect back over this very season, God himself will reveal why it had to happen exactly when it did. You'll realize that God was looking out for you, keeping you and guiding you the whole time. If it does not happen, just know that there is indeed a reason and trust that God knows best.

 

Hold on. Find peace in Gods plan and process for your unique life. It is well....It is well....with my soul.

 

Be Blessed.

Living in the Moment

I love this picture. I think it captures the true essence of how living in the future or living beyond the moment can lead to us missing the mark. It's okay to dream, have goals and plan. It really is. But living too far ahead of where you are at this moment prevents you from savoring the amazingness of the moment you're in. I've come to realize that I am in my most peaceful state when I just let go of my thoughts. In that, I let go of what I need to do, what I'm planning on doing, what I hope happens, what I'm striving to become. I let it all go! When I do that I open myself up to enjoy and marvel over what is...instead of what is to come. My heart-rate decreases. My breathing slows up. I'm at peace when I exercise living in the moment.

 

I find that many people, myself included, are always trying to get somewhere, both mentally and physically. Things are always moving or plans are always being made. A constant state of preparing and anticipating. I'm sure this sounds familiar to you. This way of living is stressful. It robs you of taking in precious moments in your present. Moments that you will never get back. Since I finished Graduate school I've started practicing living in the moment. Now that I no longer have papers to write or classes to rush to or deadlines to meet...I've started embracing the slowness of my life. I don't always succeed at it but at least now I'm more mindful of it. I can say, "Chanel, slow down. You're getting too far ahead of yourself."

 

I know God has great things in store for me, and you. But I also know that life and time are so precious you cannot spend it always anticipating the "what's next" stuff of life. You truly have to cherish and value each day, hour, minute and second you are allowed to see. I often think about people who received the news that they only have a few months or years to live. I ask myself, "If I were in their shoes, how would I spend my last days?" Like, after getting over the devastating news how would I maximize life until I had no more life left? I pray that I wouldn't spend it moping around or feeling sorry for myself. I also pray that I would make the absolute most out of the time I had left!

 

I want to start living my life that way. I would encourage you to do the same. Live like your time here on earth is limited. Live and enjoy each moment you're blessed to see. Celebrate your daily accomplishments instead of waiting until the whole puzzle is completed. Bask in the sun and the beauty of the day...of the moment. I plan to start reading Eckhart Tolle's, "The Power of Now." I pray that this work helps me to start living in my now, without me having to work at it. I want living in my now to be my norm. I challenge you as well to take one day where you only focus on your now. It will lead to amazing memories and a more peaceful way of life.

I won't complain

A Dear friend shared this with me: "If you have a group of people put all of their problems in a circle, read them aloud, I guarantee you will pick back up your own problems."

 

God always shows me things that money cannot buy. Health, Love, Strength, Peace of mind and Joy. This is His unique way of dealing with me and keeping me in check. God knows us and He knows exactly how to deal and speak to us. It's amazing that when He does this...my mood, when I'm in a funk, instantly changes! Like, instantly. Thank you Lord for speaking to me and convicting me when I need it. I thank you for ALL you've done for me. Giving me another day to get it right for starters..........

 

Remember:

- Things could always be worse.

 

- Be Thankful for where you are and what you have.

 

- There is always someone dealing with a situation in life who would love to be in your shoes, problems and all.

 

- Stop living for what may or may not happen tomorrow. Live for today. Tomorrow may never come.

 

- Let tomorrow take care of itself. God's Got this. He's got YOU.

 

 

I won't complain
I've had some good days
I've had some hills to climb
I've had some weary days
I've had some sleepless nights
But when I look around
And I think things over
All of my good days
Outweigh my bad days

So I won't complain

Sometimes the clouds hang low
I can hardly see the road
And then I ask the question
Lord why so much pain
But He knows what's best for me
Although my weary eyes can't see

So I'll just say thank you Lord
I won't complain

God's been so good to me
The Lord has been so good to me
More than this old world
Or you could ever be
The Lord has been so good to me
And he dried my tears away
And he turn all my midnights into days

So I'll say thank you Lord
I just say thank you Lord
I'll just say thank you Lord
I won't complain

"No" is an answer...Praise God for it!

I know it's hard to accept but "No" really is an answer to your prayer(s). In fact it's one that I believe we should shout more for.  Let me explain....the yes is amazing because it's usually an answer we've been praying for. Something we prayed for is now a reality! Maybe it's that relationship, job, financial blessing, new home, new car...etc. When God says yes and you receive whatever it is you've been praying for you know that the desire of your heart, the plans you had, the dreams you had...your prayers...aligned with Gods Will for your life. Now that's wonderful!

 

But..........

 

When you pray so hard for something. Turn down your plate for it. Worship God for it. Devote your time, energy and prayer life to it and the answer to your prayer from God is No....Now, THAT'S a difficult pill to swallow and even more difficult to understand and accept.

 

As I grow in my faith I'm coming to realize that when God answers me with a no... I'm far more accepting and thankful for it than I was a few years ago. Why? Because for every no He gave me there was a far better yes....waiting for me on the other side of it. There are some prayers that I was down right pissed when He answered me no but looking back on my life I can truly say, Thank you JESUS for that No!! I'm thankful that He said no to some of the prayers I lifted up because His plans for me were greater than my own.

 

Maybe you've received your no and it was a tough blow. Maybe your no is one you're having a hard time accepting. Maybe your no has really thrown you for a loop. I've been sent to tell you that this No is indeed the answer to your prayer, even if you can't see it right now. It will work out for your good. God sees the bigger picture and blueprint of your life. He knows what you need and when you need it. He also knows those things you pray for that will really end up hurting you in the long run. Again, even though you can't see it now.

Trust God with the desires of your heart. Trust that His plans for your life are greater than any of the minuscule plans you could ever have. Trust that somehow this no will lead to a yes that will blow your mind....when the time is right. The no could also be a... "not right now."

 

Until then, trust, believe and have faith that the no you received from God is not to punish you but to put you position for the yes that will blow your mind!

 

Be Peace!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you Trust His Will?

I must confess...I've been convicted for neglecting this Blog. So many things have happened in my life since my last entry but I know this is something I've been called to do and God WILL see to it that I do. It's bigger than me and I must be held accountable. Lord forgive me.

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The reason I love the above picture is because it reassures me that life is a process. The plan God has for me, and for you, will sometimes involve pain and discomfort. BUT...when you are living in the will of God there is purpose in the process.

 

God builds character in you during the stormy seasons of your life.

 

Think back to the most difficult seasons of your life. Now, think about how that painful and difficult time altered the course of your life and who you are today.

 

The stormy seasons of life ultimately teach us something and are very much part of Gods plan to develop and grow us. Character is not build without some form of pain and or suffering. You have to go through in order to be who God needs you to be according to His will. The pieces of the plan don't always fit together or make sense. But when you reach the true passion and purpose for your life they will fit together just perfectly. In time it will be revealed.

 

Please know...if you continue to trust Him, pray and believe... those difficult times will prove to work out for your good. Even though you can't see it now there is always a blessing waiting on the other end of the storm. I can testify to that.

The most painful season of my life was indeed the work of God. It made me into a better person and for that I have to give praise. Had I not gone through that time of my life I would NOT be where I am today. It was painful, depressing and just too much for me at times but Gods plan was to prosper me and take me to the next level in my life. I am indeed a new creature in Christ. Not without flaw and fault... but my heart was changed and character was developed within me.

 

If you are in that season of your life right now please don't give up and throw in the towel. Hang in there. It's hard. It's painful. But God will show up in your life. Something is being developed within you that needed to be done. It had to be this way. Why? We may never know but God does. That's the hard part. Trusting that He knows what's best even when it seems like NO good can come of the situation. It's scary and trust me I know it's not an easy pill to swallow.

His purpose and plan for your life will prevail over any circumstance or situation you may be facing. Have peace in that fact. This will some how...some way...work out for your good!

 

 

 

Be blessed.

 

 

God is in the Details. Trust His Process!

I had a self discovery moment where I realized my anxiety and stress skyrockets when I am trying to plan out, plot out and control every aspect of my life. Like, when things will happen? How they will work out when the logistics just makes no sense!? How do I position myself to reap my due season? Who? What? Where? When? Why? How!?

 

The details.

 

Then I paused and told myself, "Self, God is in the details. So just keep praying and moving forward."

 

Oftentimes we lose sight of the fact that God Himself is in the details. The small intricate details of our lives and the journey's we have been selected to travel, He cares. When we surrender control over the details of our lives we won't be as stressed, depressed and frustrated. We must simply live in our purpose. Be true to your dreams, goals and aspirations and don't worry about the logistics of how or when they will play out.

 

I try to remind myself that when you live for God and proclaim Him as your Lord and Savior there are three amazing promises that come along with that, Grace, Mercy and Favor!

 

That means:

 Sometimes things may not make sense, the numbers just don't add up, the circumstances seem impossible, the facts say it should not be, Man says it can't happen, your education says you won't qualify, your credit score reads denied, you past says you can't achieve it, your actions say you will be punished, your bank account says you can't afford it, the doctor's say there is no hope.....

BUT GOD!

 

Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

 

Trust God with the details and processes of your life. Unlike you, He has a birdseye view of your life. Not just a view of your current moment. Remind yourself that He loves you and He knows exactly where you are and what you're going through. He wouldn't bring you this far to leave you.

 

Faith~Trust~Believe!

 

 

No matter what...STAY Focused

Have you ever noticed that when you are trying to do the right things, better yourself or just trying to get your mind right...........HERE comes the devil.

 

Well, let me rephrase that... HERE comes all the naysayers, doubters, kill joys and "keep it realERS." Yes, the people who for whatever reason find it necessary to give you their two cents that you probably never asked for in the first place.

Along my journey, I found it very interesting how many people phased out of my life. I paid attention to the energy they brought...and took away from me as they left. I had to make a decision to cut some people loose because either A. they were just too negative or B. they couldn't adjust to the ME God was molding. My defining life transition was my spiritual journey that started three years ago. Some people who knew the old me took issue with the new things God was doing in my life. It's hard trying to remain spiritually grounded when natural forces don't want you to be. But...I knew if I wanted to remain on this wonderful path God was revealing to me I had to stay focused.

It was no doubt the BEST decision I've ever made.

When someone in your space is trying to do something better for themselves (no matter what your opinion is) encourage them. Give them hope. Don't be one of those people that kills someone else's dreams and aspirations. There is power in words.

Your dreams live within you. Not everyone will believe in your potential so it's critical that you remain focused. 

Ask yourself: Why now... are so many things happening to try to shift my focus from what I'm trying to do? Why now... am I facing so many road blocks to achieving my goals? Why now... are people so concerned about the positive things I'm doing in my life? Why now...are people and things from my past coming out of nowhere!?

I'll answer those for you. When you are trying to do the right things the devil will pull out all the tricks to get you to stop. Period. You just have to remain focused. Don't fall for tricks of the devil. You are on a road to greatness and that's why the devil uses people and things to distract you. That should be your cue that you're on the right path! The devil would not be so determined to stop you if something great wasn't on the other side. Trust me, I know. I'm living proof of it.

Whatever journey you're on stick with it. Be determined and don't give up. Success doesn't happen overnight. It takes work and dedication. You can and will achieve whatever you are setting out to do. Just stay focused!

Chanel-

Love and Heartbreak

Love and Heartbreak

 

 

At some point we all experience the hurt and devastation of heartbreak. It's not fun. To put it plainly....it sends your life into a deep black abyss that seems endless. Love is the most powerful emotion. It has the ability to make you feel on top of the world. On the other-hand, the loss of love can make you feel like life as you know it is over.

Heartbreak usually occurs when you are on the losing side of the love coin. You want the relationship while the other person has not only ended it but moved on with their life. You feel left holding the emotional bag of failed promises and a lost future. You watch all of your dreams, hopes and plans for a future with that person go up in flames. There is no denying that heartbreak is one of the things we all wish we could avoid. To be in the position of wanting someone to love you, the way you love them, when they've made it clear that will not happen is a hard reality pill to swallow.

The fact is the other person has taken the necessary time to deal with his/her feelings and moved on from the relationship. This was all done before they officially informed you it was over. They've had time to weigh the options, get their ducks in a row, and just found the perfect {or not so perfect} time to break the news to you. This mental process on their end began some time ago. I've always said, when a relationship ends and the split is not mutual....9 times out of 10 the relationship was over long before it became official to the other person. I hope that makes sense. Well, for those of us who have been on either side of the heartbreak coin, it makes perfect sense.

If you've found this blog I'm sure you're experiencing the hurt and pain of heartbreak right now. First, I want to say that although the hurt seems unbearable right now, it does get better. You will laugh, love and feel like yourself again. I promise. I know it doesn't look like it right now but you will. The key is using this hurt and alone time constructively. By that I mean, take this time to do some self reflection, don't obsess over the person, stop taking about the breakup, don't torture yourself by constantly re-living the moment and stop strolling down memory lane and playing the "what if" game. Simply acknowledge the role you played in the relationship (both positive and negative), examine your life and make positive changes. Take care of yourself health wise and become a better you! Learn from the experience and make modifications where needed.

 

Can I help you grow for a second?

 

1. The universe has a way of protecting us even when we don't know it. God see's all and He knows all. I know you thought that person was the one but God always knows best. You don't know what the future holds, God does. There may be something coming down the line in the future that you don't know of and God is removing you from that situation so you won't get caught up in it! Just say, "Lord, I don't know why this happened but I'm thanking you anyhow!" If He deems something or someone as good he grants it. If not, He won't. It's really that simple. Just trust God on this and know that if someone is removed from your life involuntarily...there is a good reason, even if you don't see it right now. Trust God over your feelings. You'll never go wrong with that.

 

2. When God is working to mold you, grow you and develop you into the person you are destined to be.....there is a process. That process almost always involves pain. Sorry to be the one to break that to you but it's true. When God is trying to get your attention and draw you closer to Him...He will use situations and people for His will in your life. This heartbreak could be a result of that. Through pain, hurt and disappointment we tend to call out to God. It really sucks that we have to reach such lows in life before we seek Him. But, we are human and He knows. I'm only speaking from experience and I can assure you that through heartbreak and life's storms; I am stronger, better and wiser! I've learned to lean on Him and trust His process in my life. I will not lie and say that I enjoyed one bit of my molding. However, that heartbreak was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. It led me to Christ and made me a far better person. I love who I am now. I was made new from that situation. I'm humble, considerate and just living my best life! So you see, what you currently view as the most painful thing you've ever experienced, could turn out to be the best thing for you. After my transformation I met my wife. I'm so thankful God's timing is perfect! She got the person she deserves. I love freely. I love Christ. And more importantly, my heartbreak was preparing me for the moment when I would receive the gift of true love.

 

So, hang in there and know there is a reason for this season in your life. It's a process. You just have to learn whatever lesson this is teaching you. It does and will get better. Just lean on God and seek his comfort. Things will be revealed to you. Don't down play the set up for your blessing. Character and intergrity are built in those very situations we wish we could escape. Focus on becoming a better you and know that God knows what's best for your life. Trust in his process and timing. Even when you don't understand and it hurts to the core. Have faith that this will all work out for your good.

 

 

 

 



2013 Expecting the GREAT!

This will be my final blog of 2012!

This has truly been one amazing year. I had a few silent moments when I got to work today so I went back thru the blog entries from 2012. How exciting!? I am blessed and looking forward to another wonderful year. I strive to be a better person, partner and mama to my little daughter scheduled to arrive in March.

 

 I delare that whatever comes my way in the new year, God will be there with me every step of the way! He will never leave my side and with Him all things are possible. He is my source of strength, comfort, peace, joy and anything else I need.  As with any new year you never know what will come your way. It's easy to be afraid of what may happen in 2013 But I rebuke the spirit of fear in the name of JESUS!

 

I may not know what 2013 holds.... BUT I know WHO holds 2013!!

 

Happy NEW YEAR Blog World!!

 

 

Chanel-

Updates and Baby News... Oh My!

Hahaha! I love this picture and it totally captures the energy of this blog entry.

So, I sometimes provide blog world with an intimate look into what's going on in my life and this holiday season is the perfect time to do that.

 

Where do I start....oh, school. Yeah, so I didn't quit after all. In fact, I went into this semester with my A game! I knew I could do it if I just stopped saying, "I can't do this." It makes a world of difference when you actually start speaking life. Now, please don't misunderstand....I STILL feel like it's a lot but finishing up this semester strong has changed my perspective. I'm still waiting for my grades but I'm sure I did well. The question is how well.

Now that this semester is officially over, I am now ready for my Masters degree in Negotiation and Conflict Management due to be placed IN my hand in May~! I will be done with school in 5 months! Yaaaay me!

.................Oh, and I found out this semester that I am in the top 5% of my Graduate degree class AND was the top student in both the Negotiations and Mediation classes this semester! I ROCK! Thank God I didn't give up.

 

The Baby....Sweet Princess Chandler:

 

My wife and I are expecting a little GIRL!! Many of you already know but some were left at the gender reveal party blog entry and had no clue. So, there you have it folks! Baby Bastfield is a wonderful baby girl. Chandler Talia. My daughter. OH MY GAWD I'm gonna be a MaMa!! Whoa! Sounds funny just saying that. Nicole has done AWESOME thus far. We are officially in the 3rd trimester and all is well. She passed her glucose test and has had no issues with her blood pressure. Things are just really coming along well and I'm so proud of her. I just pray I'm as good of a human oven as she has been when my turn comes.

Chandler is so active these days and Nicole is not getting much sleep. We did our tour of the OB Unit where we will deliver this week and it really made this whole thing real to the both of us. We are just so over the moon excited and thankful. God has truly blessed us. As of today we only have 90 days til her due date! We have already finished her nursery and have received so many clothes and shoes for her! We are so grateful! Chandler already has more clothes than I do and we haven't even had our baby shower yet. We just pray people actually go by our registry and get the items we scanned. If they do, we will be SET! We are scheduled to take the lactation class next month so hopefully we will get some great pointers on feeding the little one.

I'm so ready to meet my daughter. I want her to stay in the human oven for as long as she needs to but with each day I feel more and more ready to be a parent. It's taken 36 years of living to prepare me for this journey and I'm just ready. I know there are sacrifices that come with the territory but Nicole and I have just planned so much and went thru so much to get here. Now, we just have to face the challenge head on and pray for guidance in raising our kid.

We continue to pray for those families still trying to conceive. It's a long hard road but your time will come. We pray your little bundle(s) of joy is just one cycle away. Hang in there.

 

Marriage is wonderful. I have an amazing wife and the kid is healthy. I'm blessed.

 

Happy Holidays Everyone!

 

From: Chanel, Nicole, Chandler & Mr. Kameron (The Fur Baby)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Trying to Change People!

I've come to realize that we often spend way too much counter-productive time trying to change and mold other people into who we want them to be. Specifically in our intimate relationships. I can honestly say some of the biggest mistakes I've made in my own past relationships was trying to change a grown adult into the person I needed at that time in my life. Huge mistake. 

The reality is when you enter into a relationship with the expectation of the other person changing into who YOU want them to be; you are setting the stage for them to not only resent you but the demise of that relationship. 

The one thing people want to maintain in a relationship is their own identity. Even as you two become a unit they still need a sense of self in order to be whole. You cannot and will not ever complete another person. Completeness happens from within. If you are constantly trying to change them they will slowly lose a sense of who they are. Subtle things like attempting to change the way someone dresses, how they style their hair, how they speak, what their interest are...I could go on and on but you get the picture. You may think you are trying to change them for the better according to your standards but the truth is this could have very negative consequences. Resentment, bitterness and anger are often the by-products of you attempting to change your significant other.

The fact is the person you're with may never change. And...if they do change it will be something that they must want to do for themselves. You don't have the power to evoke change in another human being who does not see your vision of how they need to be. Sorry to be the one to tell you that. Lifestyle changes, like losing weight, stop smoking cigarettes, stop cursing etc...again, are all changes that must come from the internal desire to change. 

What I've learned dating my wife and now in our marriage is that in order to experience the true joy of a healthy happy relationship; you must learn to love the person right where they are. You must learn to find peace and understanding even in those things that you may see as a flaw. That's the beauty of a balanced relationship. Flaws and all. For the first time in my adult life I didn't enter into the relationship with my wife trying to change her. I accepted her for who she was and what she brought to my life. Sure, there were small things along the way that she changed for me but they were things that she ultimately wanted to change within herself. I was just the influence she needed to make it happen. And the same goes for the changes I've made in my life. But, even if she didn't...that was okay as well. We've rubbed off on each other in positive ways and we both love it!

So, I challenge you today...stop trying to change your spouse or the person you're dating. If you have that many issues with them then perhaps they are not the one for you and you need to be honest with yourself and the other person about that. Any changes that need to be made within them, life has a funny way of taking care of that. Just relax and enjoy the differences between you two and try to find a common ground. You'll appreciate your mate more when you stop trying to change them into someone they're not.

Turkey. Family and Being Thankful

I realized I missed my two year Blogiversary. October 28th, 2010 I started this blog to share my own teachable life lessons with people all around the world. I had no idea how to go about it when I started but I knew that if I prayed about the content before I posted...God would send exactly who needed to read each and every entry. I'm thankful for this blog because it allows me to share moments of my own life that have in fact helped other people. Blogging serves as a release for me and I'm thankful for the opportunity to reach the masses.
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As Thanksgiving approaches I'm reminded of so many people who have suffered loss this year. I think many people take for granted that family and friends present at the dinner table one Thanksgiving will be there the next. I pray for those who are mourning and I also pray that God comforts your heart and gives you peace.

Thank you.....
For Blessing my wife and I with Chandler
For my amazing wife who is truly my soul-mate
For a core group of friends
For a job that pays the bills as God meets my every need
For my family that has supported me in every area of my life
For my Toyota Solara that has over 223k miles on it
For a new roof that protects my family from the elements
For health and strength
For Kameron who adds so much spice to the household
For the memory of Sabre' who I miss so terribly 
For allowing me to beat the spirit of defeat, sadness and inadequacy 
For renewing my mind in terms of finances! On my way to #Team800!!
For my wonderful Church home
For my spiritual growth
For protecting me from seen and unseen dangers
For grace, mercy and favor in my life
For having my back in ALL ways and in ALL situations
For blessing me to see my 36th birthday which falls on Thanksgiving day (And even if I don't live to see it Thank you for a special place in Heaven!)
This list could really go on and on but I just wanted to take the time out to say......

Lord. I Thank You.

Happy Thanksgiving Blog World!!

Lesbian's CAN make babies. Boy or Girl?

I very rarely write trying to conceive updates on my blog. And this will probably be the only one I do here. My wife covers that area over in Word.Press and when she does (sarcasm font) update she does a wonderful job! *smile* I stalk her blog and she stalks mine. How cute?! lol 

We both use blog world to help people. Her blog specifically covers the ups and downs of two super innovative lesbians trying to make a baby! Mine covers spiritual journey's and life lessons. 

Her blog goes into detail about the adventures of sperm meets egg with my handy work and the oh so powerful syringe, ovulation predictor kits and 45 minutes of her nearly standing on her head! lol 

Oh, I cannot leave out a Physician that helped us along, MUCH prayer and selecting a donor who will forever be in our hearts. 

If only people realized how much effort gay's and lesbian's have to put into making a baby! It's not easy nor is it cheap emotionally or financially. These kids are SO loved before those 2 pink lines show up on the test. There are no "slip ups" with rainbow kids. For obvious reasons but I digress. We have to plan, budget and make sacrifices for our kids before they are even conceived. 

You won't find a lesbian couple leaving their baby on the church steps!! Not to shade you hetero's but these kids owe us thousands of dollars upon birth! We want them to grow up and become rich to take care of us and pay us back all the money we spent to bring them into the world! (Now you may laugh)..No seriously....you get my point. -Please don't send me hate mail comments... that was a joke blog world and I'm sure many lesbian's are probably laughing hysterically right now-

The great thing about rainbow babies is that the parents get to carefully select the other half of the DNA contributions that goes into making their super kids! How cool is that?! It's a process to say the least and we wouldn't change our journey for the world.

We prayed. And the child that God hand-picked for us was sent down from the clouds. We are so blessed. This is a amazing time for us and we are just enjoying every moment of it together. The nesting phase is comforting and we just give God all the praise for it. 

I want to send up a special prayer for all the other gay and lesbian couples still waiting for that prayer to be answered. Stay encouraged and know that you do have fellow bloggers that are cheering for you.

Now..............

This weekend we will find out if our baby is a Boy or a Girl. OmgOmgOmg! We are literally bursting out the seams over here. I mean...we technically could have found out several weeks ago but we wanted to wait for that special moment to share with our family and friends. At our gender reveal party. It took so much discipline to not find out at each of the ultrasounds! Covering our eyes while the technician squealed was so hard!

It's so amazing that we are halfway through the pregnancy. It seems like just yesterday we were in the bathroom crying, hugging and screaming when we got the positive pregnancy test! Now the belly is huge and we just want to know if we are #TeamGirl or #TeamBoy! My Wife and I have no preference but trust me...the teams are gearing up for the big reveal this weekend and some people are convinced they know! This is gonna be fun to say the least. 

Oh, you may be wondering how we plan to reveal the s.ex? Well, we went to Little Bo Peep Ultrasound facility and had a gender scan performed. We covered our eyes and turned away from the monitor. Then, the Tech captured the "potty shot," typed boy or girl on it... and she sealed it in an envelope! We took the envelope and mailed it DIRECTLY Diva Sweets Bakery. Thanks Dani!! lol....If the ultrasound reveals boy the middle of the cake will be blue. If it's a girl...it will be pink. When we cut the cake in front of our family and friends we will all find out together! I'm so excited. So, do you think boy or girl? We shall all find out in a few days! 

Friendships Through All Seasons

"Friendships that truly stand the test of time are those that survive every season. The Good. The Bad. And the Boring." (c) Chanel Bastfield

It took several weeks of going back and forth with whether to blog about friendships. I'm not sure why but I know someone like myself needs to read this. Over the past few years I have paid very close attention to my friendships. Those that came and went. And those that have stood the test of time. I've had some friendships  literally last only a season. It was fun while it lasted but for whatever reason they are no longer in my life. No love lost...it's just the way life played out. 

Then there are those friendships that have been a constant in every stage of my growth and development into adulthood. That being, grade school friend's and friends that I have met in the past few years who are like my family. I have a hand-full of friends with whom I share over 30 years of life, experience and unbreakable bonds. 

The friendships that have stood over 30 years are in fact those that survived every season of my life. When I was young dumb and stupid, when I was the party animal, when I answered to no one but myself as well as my current seasons of maturity. Which are; the seasons of surrendering my life to Christ. The seasons of me being settled and not wanting to party all the time or hang out. The seasons of focusing on family, my career and my education. The seasons of just wanting to live the best life I can live void of as much drama as possible.

Yes, the true test of friendships are those that no matter what comes or what goes...they survive. That I've found is the key. They survive. 

Friends bicker, friends don't always see eye-to-eye, friend's don't always speak every single day. But...friends respect each other and always have each other's best interest at heart. They are there for each other through good times and bad. They realize that even when things aren't perfect between them they are truly friends and nothing can come between that. Most importantly, you always communicate how you feel and never let petty misunderstandings come between you. If that happens the "friendship" needs to be re-evaluated. 

No, you may not be as close as you were in high school but you still check in on each other. No, you may not talk every day but you still send an email saying "hello." No, you may not be at each other's house every weekend but you still make time to meet up for lunch. No, you may not even talk for several weeks but at some point you check in to make sure everything is okay. Life, children, marriages, relocation, health, finances...they all have a way of putting pressure on friendships. But true friends understand.

Those are indeed the types of seasons most friendships go through. And only the strong ones will survive when life brings change. They morph and grow into what the friendship needs to be. They blossom into whatever form they need to take to nurture the people involved. 

Friendship dynamics may change but the loyalty, respect and love between them do not. If you want to know if you currently have one of those blessed friendships; simply let life unfold and see how they morph. 

Chanel-

Make the decision to be Happy!

So many people wake up in the morning and decide to be unhappy. Yes, it's a decision. How you respond to life and circumstances is a decision. Deciding to be happy despite what's going on around you or in your life doesn't mean the situation changes. It simply means you make up in your mind that you will count it all joy and press forward. I know, it's easier said than done but I also know that making the decision to miserable, grumpy, sad, depressed and negative will not make things any better.

I love how God works when I get in a "funk" and decide to be unhappy or sad. He always allows me to cross paths with someone who shows me that things could be a lot worse. I always try to look at the bright side of a bad situation and when I find that difficult to do....God does it for me. 

When you get sad or feel down it's usually because you are thinking about whatever it is that makes you feel that way! Events in life have a way of keeping us stuck in a place of unhappiness but it's up to us to decide how we respond. Aren't you tired of letting the same situations get you down each and every time? Aren't you tired of letting certain people constantly alter your mood? I challenge you to redefine them. What do I mean by that?

It's simple.

Stop letting people and things define YOU. Don't allow anyone or anything to have that much power or control over you and your emotions. Tell yourself, "NOT TODAY!" It has to start somewhere. You have to stand up and be in control of your own emotions and mood. No one and no circumstance should dictate how you feel at any given moment. When you take control over your own mood then decide to be happy, be at peace and count it all joy. This too shall pass. No heartache, pain or suffering lasts forever. You may be going through something now but set your mind on the joy you will feel when you come out! When you can look back and see how the very thing that had you in the dumps was a blessing. When you can look back and see how much you learned and how you've grown because of it. 

I know life has a way to taking you there but trust me...if you are in the Will of God and you put your faith in Him. It will all work out for your good. Yes, even those things that seem so horrible, painful and down right impossible. Trust that He has a plan for everything in your life. Trust that somehow, someway this will all come together for your benefit. Trust that this is all part of His amazing plan for your life. He is known for taking bad situations and turning them into something wonderful. You just have to pray, trust and believe. Knowing all that...how can you not make the decision to be happy?

Be Blessed.

One Day At A Time

"One day at a time...."

I found in life we often live in the future. Instead of living and enjoying this very moment we take on the problems and worry of days we may never see. The truth is, tomorrow is not promised but today...we have another chance to get it right, live in total joy and decide to be happy. Living in the future and having goals/dreams is completely different. It's okay to set future goals and plan how you would like things to happen. It's not okay to become so obsessed with the potential outcome that you forget to value today. If you take a moment to self reflect, I'm sure you will find that those things that keep you in a state of worry and anxiety are things that are in the future. Things that may or may not even happen. So, you waste valuable time in THIS precious day worrying or being sad over something that may never happen. Sounds crazy when you read it but so many of us live in that destructive cycle. 

Living in the "what if's" only robs you of being fully present in this amazing moment that God has given you. Yes, bad things may happen. Yes, things may not go as you planned. Yes, no one ever said this life would be void of hurt, disappointment and pain. BUT....Yes, things could work out wonderfully! Yes, things could play out just as you've dreamed it would. Yes, things could even go a lot better than you thought! You see, looking back on how much time you spent focusing on the negative "what ifs" really stole something from the amazing process unfolding in your life. You look back and realize you didn't fully enjoy certain things in your life because you spent so much non-productive energy assuming things would fail or not work out. That's a pretty sad life to live.

Instead of taking on the "what ifs" and focusing on the days, weeks, months and years ahead...how about start declaring to only live one day at a time? Declare that in this moment all is well. In this moment everything is going exactly how I want it to and exactly how God preordained it to. In this moment I am happy, I am content and I am at peace. In this moment there are no fires to put out, emergencies to attend to or things that will stress me out! Start enjoying this moment rather than robbing yourself if it by flooding your mind and spirit of things in the future. 

Living one day at a time and trusting God to take care of anything that may be in your future. Living one day at a time and having full confidence that in God you will have the strength to endure whatever it is He has planned for your journey. Also, knowing that everything on that path has a purpose. I know it's easier said than done and I too have to coach myself in living one day at a time. But I do know the benefits of it and I refuse to let any worry of the future rob me of this amazing moment I have in front of me right now. 

Finish What You Started!

I woke up yesterday, Tuesday morning and flipped through the television channels only to land on one of my favorites, Joyce Meyer Ministries. On Monday night I made the decision to complete my Masters Degree program this Spring. My original plan was to spread it out to three semesters but thought to myself, "I really could finish next semester if I put my mind to it." Joyce Meyer's message was about finishing what you started. Her exact message was "Anyone can start something but it shows character when you finish." God spoke to me loud and clear through that word. I plan to finish what I started. I never equated seeing a plan to the finish with character but it does make sense. Many people have bright ideas, goals, dreams and aspirations placed on their hearts, they start with excitement and so much enthusiasm only to lose drive and never complete what they set out to do. Then the dream dies. A dream deferred. The Holy Spirit instantly brought to my remembrance, "What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the Sun....?" 

I wonder how many people would be living the lives they've always wanted to live if they had just finished what they started. I don't believe God plants seeds in us without there being a higher purpose and plan for it. What is that plan? We won't know until due season. But we do know that everything works together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. 

So, where will this degree program lead me? I have no idea. But I do know I started for a reason and I was divinely placed in it so God must have a plan for it! That's what I place my hope and trust in. I do feel in my heart that in order for me to get to the next level that I've been praying for professionally and financially I need to have it. 

I don't know what led you to this blog but I pray it speaks to you and your current situation. I hope it serves as confirmation for something you've been on the fence about. Finish what you started. Don't give up. There is a purpose for the struggle and sacrifice. God sees and will give you the strength to endure til the end. If it was placed on your heart and on your mind to do....you need to see it to completion. Yes, it may be difficult. Yes, it seems easier to just throw in the towel. But finishing what you started is the gateway to the blessing. Finish in faithfulness. Know that God is with you and will see to it that you have everything you need to complete the task.  

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

What's meant for YOU...will be!

Sometimes the universe has a way of showing you amazing signs...you just have to be listening. If you listen and you are receptive to things happening around you, clarity and revelation will come. Also, the universe sets into motion a chain of events in order to assure that those things that are meant only for you...find a way to you. Don't believe me? Let me share with you what happened to me yesterday. 

I have purchased a pair of purple Levi chucks back in 2009. I actually wore them for my birthday party that year and I wore them on my wedding day last month (Pause--Happy One Month Anniversary Sweetpea). Purple is my favorite color so these sneakers are special. Well, last year I was cleaning them and didn't realize that the wipe I was using had bleach in it. Needless to say my right shoe has a little but of a discoloration on it from that dang wipe! I was blown but it wasn't that horrible that I couldn't wear them anymore. But still, noticeable enough that I thought about buying a new pair just for the right shoe. 

Fast forward to yesterday. My wife and I did what we often do...Thrift store shopping for what we call "treasures." She went to look at something and I went to my usual sections which is the household items and the vinyl records crate. Suddenly, I looked over in the shoe department and whadda ya know a PAIR OR PURPLE LEVI CHUCKS!!!! Holy crap! I honestly could not make this up! And, they were MY size. 

But wait. It gets better. 

===This is the part you probably won't believe OR it will totally make you a believer in how the universe works===

I messed up my right shoe with the bleach. The pair of shoes at the thrift store had one perfect right shoe and the left shoe was discolored. The cashier told me the left shoe had been washed out by the sun, at the store, because it was in the display window. But she said she put the shoes on the rack in the thrift store anyway. When I told her the story of my shoe and why I was purchasing this pair she said, "GET OUTTA HERE!" lol She even told me to repeat the story to another cashier. lol

I'm sure several people walked right on by the shoes because of that discolored left shoe and the fact that now they no longer matched. Everyone except me. I needed the perfect shoe. The right shoe. Not the left.

You see where I'm going with this?

Those sneakers had my name on them. They were meant for me to see them. The universe knew I needed that shoe. They weren't meant for anyone else. The universe set everything into place long before I knew I would end up at that particular thrift store on yesterday. I got the message loud and clear. What's meant for you...will find its way to you.

Don't look at this as just a pair of shoes. I know I sure don't. This is just one of the many examples of how the universe makes sure you get what's meant for you. You don't have to worry it into place or stress over it. When things don't happen or you don't get what you want just say to yourself with confidence "something else will come my way." Something perfect and tailor-made just for you! This small work of the universe gave me peace with a lot of things. If God gave me something as simple as the "right shoe" I know He will give me everything I need to make it in life. He will also do the same for you. Just trust and listen to the universe along your journey. In your case, it may be a job, house or relationship. Whatever it is...please know that when something is truly meant for you it will be. 

Live~Love~Laugh

Chanel-

Moving Past Your Fears!

So many people are living limited and joy-less lives because of their fears. I love the above picture because that's exactly what we do... FEED fears! We reach back into our past and dig up old situations that help our fears to grow. We search the internet for Dr.Google to further intensify our fears. We seek the counsel of those people who will not hesitate to "keep it real" with us by offering worse case scenario's to our fears. Fear is a crippling spirit. It limits us, it depresses us and nothing good ever comes from it. Period.

We will all feel fear in our lives but we don't have to let it keep us from living fully in each moment we are blessed to have. It's okay to acknowledge that you are afraid and to be open about the things you fear but it's NOT okay to let that spirit overtake you. God has not given us the spirit of fear. He has given us the promises of a sound, stable and peaceful mind if we keep our thoughts rooted in His word. 

The tricky thing about fear is that it almost always brings along its trusty pals... worry, doubt, sadness, anxiety and panic. When we fear something we worry about it. We allow it to consume our thoughts and emotions. We begin to doubt IF things will work out. We begin to be sad and our emotional state is altered. We then kick into high gear trying to figure our how things will work out...what we can do to solve it and then anxiety and panic takes us over the top! 

 As you can see, our fears have the ability to totally take our eyes and minds off our center. Fear also negatively impacts your health. 

Oftentimes we stress and worry about things in the future. We paint elaborate events in our minds about how situations will play out. And it's almost always negative. We kill our own spirits with these horrible and dreadful endings! 

Instead of living engulfed by whatever it is that you fear give it to God. Surrender the situation or problem over to the one who is in control. Instead of making yourself sick and living everyday worrying about things turn it over to a God that is and always has been in control. Be at peace knowing that He is better able to handle things and knows exactly how it will all play out in the end. Don't fear or worry about what tomorrow may or may not hold. Live in this very moment enjoying life. 

Pray, seek peace and have full confidence in God's ability to lead and direct. 

"If you're going to worry, Don't Pray. And if you've prayed, don't worry. God's got you!"

Positive Message. Spread it!

I was almost on the verge of quitting blog world. I started this blog because I feel God has allowed me to go through certain things in life to help other people. He allowed me to go through pain, suffering, joy, amazing accomplishments etc...to tell someone else that it DOES get better and everything that happens in your life has purpose. I felt that blogging was an opportunity for me to reach people all over the world in search of a positive word. 

I received an email from someone on my blog roll list asking me to "please remove me from this blog/list." Immediately I could not understand why someone would want to be removed from my blog list when all I've ever tried to do with it was uplift and encourage people. That message made me question if I should even continue with it. I mean, I only send out one blog email per month so it wasn't like I was spamming with several entries every single day! It was disappointing and could have possibly ended what I feel God laid on my heart to do.

But it didn't. 

I know now, it's not about me, it's about Him and He will lead who He wants to this blog.

What I've discovered along this journey is that not everyone will receive the message I bring. Not everyone wants to read just how GREAT God is. Not everyone wants to read week after week or month after month how God has delivered, answered prayers, made a way or healed a loved one. I also had to learn how to not internalize the request of that individual. It's not me that this person wanted to disconnected from...it is the message I bring. Gods message. I know that now. That's not my battle to fight. God will lead the right people to this blog at the precise moment they need it. For bloggers, the most important thing to us is that somehow, someway our words make a difference and it reaches the intended target and in this case that would be YOU!

When you find yourself on the verge of giving up on spreading positivity, encouragement, joy, and uplifting word...don't! There are people who need it. There are people searching the internet right now trying to find a tailor-made word to get them through whatever season they may be in. They need you to keep spreading the word and being obedient. When I was going through a stormy season of my life, it was a blog that helped me get through the day. His words spoke to me and encouraged me to keep on pressing. You never know who will stumble across your blog searching for a word for their moment. Continue to let your words help people.