2013 Expecting the GREAT!

This will be my final blog of 2012!

This has truly been one amazing year. I had a few silent moments when I got to work today so I went back thru the blog entries from 2012. How exciting!? I am blessed and looking forward to another wonderful year. I strive to be a better person, partner and mama to my little daughter scheduled to arrive in March.

 

 I delare that whatever comes my way in the new year, God will be there with me every step of the way! He will never leave my side and with Him all things are possible. He is my source of strength, comfort, peace, joy and anything else I need.  As with any new year you never know what will come your way. It's easy to be afraid of what may happen in 2013 But I rebuke the spirit of fear in the name of JESUS!

 

I may not know what 2013 holds.... BUT I know WHO holds 2013!!

 

Happy NEW YEAR Blog World!!

 

 

Chanel-

Updates and Baby News... Oh My!

Hahaha! I love this picture and it totally captures the energy of this blog entry.

So, I sometimes provide blog world with an intimate look into what's going on in my life and this holiday season is the perfect time to do that.

 

Where do I start....oh, school. Yeah, so I didn't quit after all. In fact, I went into this semester with my A game! I knew I could do it if I just stopped saying, "I can't do this." It makes a world of difference when you actually start speaking life. Now, please don't misunderstand....I STILL feel like it's a lot but finishing up this semester strong has changed my perspective. I'm still waiting for my grades but I'm sure I did well. The question is how well.

Now that this semester is officially over, I am now ready for my Masters degree in Negotiation and Conflict Management due to be placed IN my hand in May~! I will be done with school in 5 months! Yaaaay me!

.................Oh, and I found out this semester that I am in the top 5% of my Graduate degree class AND was the top student in both the Negotiations and Mediation classes this semester! I ROCK! Thank God I didn't give up.

 

The Baby....Sweet Princess Chandler:

 

My wife and I are expecting a little GIRL!! Many of you already know but some were left at the gender reveal party blog entry and had no clue. So, there you have it folks! Baby Bastfield is a wonderful baby girl. Chandler Talia. My daughter. OH MY GAWD I'm gonna be a MaMa!! Whoa! Sounds funny just saying that. Nicole has done AWESOME thus far. We are officially in the 3rd trimester and all is well. She passed her glucose test and has had no issues with her blood pressure. Things are just really coming along well and I'm so proud of her. I just pray I'm as good of a human oven as she has been when my turn comes.

Chandler is so active these days and Nicole is not getting much sleep. We did our tour of the OB Unit where we will deliver this week and it really made this whole thing real to the both of us. We are just so over the moon excited and thankful. God has truly blessed us. As of today we only have 90 days til her due date! We have already finished her nursery and have received so many clothes and shoes for her! We are so grateful! Chandler already has more clothes than I do and we haven't even had our baby shower yet. We just pray people actually go by our registry and get the items we scanned. If they do, we will be SET! We are scheduled to take the lactation class next month so hopefully we will get some great pointers on feeding the little one.

I'm so ready to meet my daughter. I want her to stay in the human oven for as long as she needs to but with each day I feel more and more ready to be a parent. It's taken 36 years of living to prepare me for this journey and I'm just ready. I know there are sacrifices that come with the territory but Nicole and I have just planned so much and went thru so much to get here. Now, we just have to face the challenge head on and pray for guidance in raising our kid.

We continue to pray for those families still trying to conceive. It's a long hard road but your time will come. We pray your little bundle(s) of joy is just one cycle away. Hang in there.

 

Marriage is wonderful. I have an amazing wife and the kid is healthy. I'm blessed.

 

Happy Holidays Everyone!

 

From: Chanel, Nicole, Chandler & Mr. Kameron (The Fur Baby)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Trying to Change People!

I've come to realize that we often spend way too much counter-productive time trying to change and mold other people into who we want them to be. Specifically in our intimate relationships. I can honestly say some of the biggest mistakes I've made in my own past relationships was trying to change a grown adult into the person I needed at that time in my life. Huge mistake. 

The reality is when you enter into a relationship with the expectation of the other person changing into who YOU want them to be; you are setting the stage for them to not only resent you but the demise of that relationship. 

The one thing people want to maintain in a relationship is their own identity. Even as you two become a unit they still need a sense of self in order to be whole. You cannot and will not ever complete another person. Completeness happens from within. If you are constantly trying to change them they will slowly lose a sense of who they are. Subtle things like attempting to change the way someone dresses, how they style their hair, how they speak, what their interest are...I could go on and on but you get the picture. You may think you are trying to change them for the better according to your standards but the truth is this could have very negative consequences. Resentment, bitterness and anger are often the by-products of you attempting to change your significant other.

The fact is the person you're with may never change. And...if they do change it will be something that they must want to do for themselves. You don't have the power to evoke change in another human being who does not see your vision of how they need to be. Sorry to be the one to tell you that. Lifestyle changes, like losing weight, stop smoking cigarettes, stop cursing etc...again, are all changes that must come from the internal desire to change. 

What I've learned dating my wife and now in our marriage is that in order to experience the true joy of a healthy happy relationship; you must learn to love the person right where they are. You must learn to find peace and understanding even in those things that you may see as a flaw. That's the beauty of a balanced relationship. Flaws and all. For the first time in my adult life I didn't enter into the relationship with my wife trying to change her. I accepted her for who she was and what she brought to my life. Sure, there were small things along the way that she changed for me but they were things that she ultimately wanted to change within herself. I was just the influence she needed to make it happen. And the same goes for the changes I've made in my life. But, even if she didn't...that was okay as well. We've rubbed off on each other in positive ways and we both love it!

So, I challenge you today...stop trying to change your spouse or the person you're dating. If you have that many issues with them then perhaps they are not the one for you and you need to be honest with yourself and the other person about that. Any changes that need to be made within them, life has a funny way of taking care of that. Just relax and enjoy the differences between you two and try to find a common ground. You'll appreciate your mate more when you stop trying to change them into someone they're not.

Turkey. Family and Being Thankful

I realized I missed my two year Blogiversary. October 28th, 2010 I started this blog to share my own teachable life lessons with people all around the world. I had no idea how to go about it when I started but I knew that if I prayed about the content before I posted...God would send exactly who needed to read each and every entry. I'm thankful for this blog because it allows me to share moments of my own life that have in fact helped other people. Blogging serves as a release for me and I'm thankful for the opportunity to reach the masses.
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As Thanksgiving approaches I'm reminded of so many people who have suffered loss this year. I think many people take for granted that family and friends present at the dinner table one Thanksgiving will be there the next. I pray for those who are mourning and I also pray that God comforts your heart and gives you peace.

Thank you.....
For Blessing my wife and I with Chandler
For my amazing wife who is truly my soul-mate
For a core group of friends
For a job that pays the bills as God meets my every need
For my family that has supported me in every area of my life
For my Toyota Solara that has over 223k miles on it
For a new roof that protects my family from the elements
For health and strength
For Kameron who adds so much spice to the household
For the memory of Sabre' who I miss so terribly 
For allowing me to beat the spirit of defeat, sadness and inadequacy 
For renewing my mind in terms of finances! On my way to #Team800!!
For my wonderful Church home
For my spiritual growth
For protecting me from seen and unseen dangers
For grace, mercy and favor in my life
For having my back in ALL ways and in ALL situations
For blessing me to see my 36th birthday which falls on Thanksgiving day (And even if I don't live to see it Thank you for a special place in Heaven!)
This list could really go on and on but I just wanted to take the time out to say......

Lord. I Thank You.

Happy Thanksgiving Blog World!!

Lesbian's CAN make babies. Boy or Girl?

I very rarely write trying to conceive updates on my blog. And this will probably be the only one I do here. My wife covers that area over in Word.Press and when she does (sarcasm font) update she does a wonderful job! *smile* I stalk her blog and she stalks mine. How cute?! lol 

We both use blog world to help people. Her blog specifically covers the ups and downs of two super innovative lesbians trying to make a baby! Mine covers spiritual journey's and life lessons. 

Her blog goes into detail about the adventures of sperm meets egg with my handy work and the oh so powerful syringe, ovulation predictor kits and 45 minutes of her nearly standing on her head! lol 

Oh, I cannot leave out a Physician that helped us along, MUCH prayer and selecting a donor who will forever be in our hearts. 

If only people realized how much effort gay's and lesbian's have to put into making a baby! It's not easy nor is it cheap emotionally or financially. These kids are SO loved before those 2 pink lines show up on the test. There are no "slip ups" with rainbow kids. For obvious reasons but I digress. We have to plan, budget and make sacrifices for our kids before they are even conceived. 

You won't find a lesbian couple leaving their baby on the church steps!! Not to shade you hetero's but these kids owe us thousands of dollars upon birth! We want them to grow up and become rich to take care of us and pay us back all the money we spent to bring them into the world! (Now you may laugh)..No seriously....you get my point. -Please don't send me hate mail comments... that was a joke blog world and I'm sure many lesbian's are probably laughing hysterically right now-

The great thing about rainbow babies is that the parents get to carefully select the other half of the DNA contributions that goes into making their super kids! How cool is that?! It's a process to say the least and we wouldn't change our journey for the world.

We prayed. And the child that God hand-picked for us was sent down from the clouds. We are so blessed. This is a amazing time for us and we are just enjoying every moment of it together. The nesting phase is comforting and we just give God all the praise for it. 

I want to send up a special prayer for all the other gay and lesbian couples still waiting for that prayer to be answered. Stay encouraged and know that you do have fellow bloggers that are cheering for you.

Now..............

This weekend we will find out if our baby is a Boy or a Girl. OmgOmgOmg! We are literally bursting out the seams over here. I mean...we technically could have found out several weeks ago but we wanted to wait for that special moment to share with our family and friends. At our gender reveal party. It took so much discipline to not find out at each of the ultrasounds! Covering our eyes while the technician squealed was so hard!

It's so amazing that we are halfway through the pregnancy. It seems like just yesterday we were in the bathroom crying, hugging and screaming when we got the positive pregnancy test! Now the belly is huge and we just want to know if we are #TeamGirl or #TeamBoy! My Wife and I have no preference but trust me...the teams are gearing up for the big reveal this weekend and some people are convinced they know! This is gonna be fun to say the least. 

Oh, you may be wondering how we plan to reveal the s.ex? Well, we went to Little Bo Peep Ultrasound facility and had a gender scan performed. We covered our eyes and turned away from the monitor. Then, the Tech captured the "potty shot," typed boy or girl on it... and she sealed it in an envelope! We took the envelope and mailed it DIRECTLY Diva Sweets Bakery. Thanks Dani!! lol....If the ultrasound reveals boy the middle of the cake will be blue. If it's a girl...it will be pink. When we cut the cake in front of our family and friends we will all find out together! I'm so excited. So, do you think boy or girl? We shall all find out in a few days! 

Friendships Through All Seasons

"Friendships that truly stand the test of time are those that survive every season. The Good. The Bad. And the Boring." (c) Chanel Bastfield

It took several weeks of going back and forth with whether to blog about friendships. I'm not sure why but I know someone like myself needs to read this. Over the past few years I have paid very close attention to my friendships. Those that came and went. And those that have stood the test of time. I've had some friendships  literally last only a season. It was fun while it lasted but for whatever reason they are no longer in my life. No love lost...it's just the way life played out. 

Then there are those friendships that have been a constant in every stage of my growth and development into adulthood. That being, grade school friend's and friends that I have met in the past few years who are like my family. I have a hand-full of friends with whom I share over 30 years of life, experience and unbreakable bonds. 

The friendships that have stood over 30 years are in fact those that survived every season of my life. When I was young dumb and stupid, when I was the party animal, when I answered to no one but myself as well as my current seasons of maturity. Which are; the seasons of surrendering my life to Christ. The seasons of me being settled and not wanting to party all the time or hang out. The seasons of focusing on family, my career and my education. The seasons of just wanting to live the best life I can live void of as much drama as possible.

Yes, the true test of friendships are those that no matter what comes or what goes...they survive. That I've found is the key. They survive. 

Friends bicker, friends don't always see eye-to-eye, friend's don't always speak every single day. But...friends respect each other and always have each other's best interest at heart. They are there for each other through good times and bad. They realize that even when things aren't perfect between them they are truly friends and nothing can come between that. Most importantly, you always communicate how you feel and never let petty misunderstandings come between you. If that happens the "friendship" needs to be re-evaluated. 

No, you may not be as close as you were in high school but you still check in on each other. No, you may not talk every day but you still send an email saying "hello." No, you may not be at each other's house every weekend but you still make time to meet up for lunch. No, you may not even talk for several weeks but at some point you check in to make sure everything is okay. Life, children, marriages, relocation, health, finances...they all have a way of putting pressure on friendships. But true friends understand.

Those are indeed the types of seasons most friendships go through. And only the strong ones will survive when life brings change. They morph and grow into what the friendship needs to be. They blossom into whatever form they need to take to nurture the people involved. 

Friendship dynamics may change but the loyalty, respect and love between them do not. If you want to know if you currently have one of those blessed friendships; simply let life unfold and see how they morph. 

Chanel-

Make the decision to be Happy!

So many people wake up in the morning and decide to be unhappy. Yes, it's a decision. How you respond to life and circumstances is a decision. Deciding to be happy despite what's going on around you or in your life doesn't mean the situation changes. It simply means you make up in your mind that you will count it all joy and press forward. I know, it's easier said than done but I also know that making the decision to miserable, grumpy, sad, depressed and negative will not make things any better.

I love how God works when I get in a "funk" and decide to be unhappy or sad. He always allows me to cross paths with someone who shows me that things could be a lot worse. I always try to look at the bright side of a bad situation and when I find that difficult to do....God does it for me. 

When you get sad or feel down it's usually because you are thinking about whatever it is that makes you feel that way! Events in life have a way of keeping us stuck in a place of unhappiness but it's up to us to decide how we respond. Aren't you tired of letting the same situations get you down each and every time? Aren't you tired of letting certain people constantly alter your mood? I challenge you to redefine them. What do I mean by that?

It's simple.

Stop letting people and things define YOU. Don't allow anyone or anything to have that much power or control over you and your emotions. Tell yourself, "NOT TODAY!" It has to start somewhere. You have to stand up and be in control of your own emotions and mood. No one and no circumstance should dictate how you feel at any given moment. When you take control over your own mood then decide to be happy, be at peace and count it all joy. This too shall pass. No heartache, pain or suffering lasts forever. You may be going through something now but set your mind on the joy you will feel when you come out! When you can look back and see how the very thing that had you in the dumps was a blessing. When you can look back and see how much you learned and how you've grown because of it. 

I know life has a way to taking you there but trust me...if you are in the Will of God and you put your faith in Him. It will all work out for your good. Yes, even those things that seem so horrible, painful and down right impossible. Trust that He has a plan for everything in your life. Trust that somehow, someway this will all come together for your benefit. Trust that this is all part of His amazing plan for your life. He is known for taking bad situations and turning them into something wonderful. You just have to pray, trust and believe. Knowing all that...how can you not make the decision to be happy?

Be Blessed.

One Day At A Time

"One day at a time...."

I found in life we often live in the future. Instead of living and enjoying this very moment we take on the problems and worry of days we may never see. The truth is, tomorrow is not promised but today...we have another chance to get it right, live in total joy and decide to be happy. Living in the future and having goals/dreams is completely different. It's okay to set future goals and plan how you would like things to happen. It's not okay to become so obsessed with the potential outcome that you forget to value today. If you take a moment to self reflect, I'm sure you will find that those things that keep you in a state of worry and anxiety are things that are in the future. Things that may or may not even happen. So, you waste valuable time in THIS precious day worrying or being sad over something that may never happen. Sounds crazy when you read it but so many of us live in that destructive cycle. 

Living in the "what if's" only robs you of being fully present in this amazing moment that God has given you. Yes, bad things may happen. Yes, things may not go as you planned. Yes, no one ever said this life would be void of hurt, disappointment and pain. BUT....Yes, things could work out wonderfully! Yes, things could play out just as you've dreamed it would. Yes, things could even go a lot better than you thought! You see, looking back on how much time you spent focusing on the negative "what ifs" really stole something from the amazing process unfolding in your life. You look back and realize you didn't fully enjoy certain things in your life because you spent so much non-productive energy assuming things would fail or not work out. That's a pretty sad life to live.

Instead of taking on the "what ifs" and focusing on the days, weeks, months and years ahead...how about start declaring to only live one day at a time? Declare that in this moment all is well. In this moment everything is going exactly how I want it to and exactly how God preordained it to. In this moment I am happy, I am content and I am at peace. In this moment there are no fires to put out, emergencies to attend to or things that will stress me out! Start enjoying this moment rather than robbing yourself if it by flooding your mind and spirit of things in the future. 

Living one day at a time and trusting God to take care of anything that may be in your future. Living one day at a time and having full confidence that in God you will have the strength to endure whatever it is He has planned for your journey. Also, knowing that everything on that path has a purpose. I know it's easier said than done and I too have to coach myself in living one day at a time. But I do know the benefits of it and I refuse to let any worry of the future rob me of this amazing moment I have in front of me right now. 

Finish What You Started!

I woke up yesterday, Tuesday morning and flipped through the television channels only to land on one of my favorites, Joyce Meyer Ministries. On Monday night I made the decision to complete my Masters Degree program this Spring. My original plan was to spread it out to three semesters but thought to myself, "I really could finish next semester if I put my mind to it." Joyce Meyer's message was about finishing what you started. Her exact message was "Anyone can start something but it shows character when you finish." God spoke to me loud and clear through that word. I plan to finish what I started. I never equated seeing a plan to the finish with character but it does make sense. Many people have bright ideas, goals, dreams and aspirations placed on their hearts, they start with excitement and so much enthusiasm only to lose drive and never complete what they set out to do. Then the dream dies. A dream deferred. The Holy Spirit instantly brought to my remembrance, "What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the Sun....?" 

I wonder how many people would be living the lives they've always wanted to live if they had just finished what they started. I don't believe God plants seeds in us without there being a higher purpose and plan for it. What is that plan? We won't know until due season. But we do know that everything works together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. 

So, where will this degree program lead me? I have no idea. But I do know I started for a reason and I was divinely placed in it so God must have a plan for it! That's what I place my hope and trust in. I do feel in my heart that in order for me to get to the next level that I've been praying for professionally and financially I need to have it. 

I don't know what led you to this blog but I pray it speaks to you and your current situation. I hope it serves as confirmation for something you've been on the fence about. Finish what you started. Don't give up. There is a purpose for the struggle and sacrifice. God sees and will give you the strength to endure til the end. If it was placed on your heart and on your mind to do....you need to see it to completion. Yes, it may be difficult. Yes, it seems easier to just throw in the towel. But finishing what you started is the gateway to the blessing. Finish in faithfulness. Know that God is with you and will see to it that you have everything you need to complete the task.  

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

What's meant for YOU...will be!

Sometimes the universe has a way of showing you amazing signs...you just have to be listening. If you listen and you are receptive to things happening around you, clarity and revelation will come. Also, the universe sets into motion a chain of events in order to assure that those things that are meant only for you...find a way to you. Don't believe me? Let me share with you what happened to me yesterday. 

I have purchased a pair of purple Levi chucks back in 2009. I actually wore them for my birthday party that year and I wore them on my wedding day last month (Pause--Happy One Month Anniversary Sweetpea). Purple is my favorite color so these sneakers are special. Well, last year I was cleaning them and didn't realize that the wipe I was using had bleach in it. Needless to say my right shoe has a little but of a discoloration on it from that dang wipe! I was blown but it wasn't that horrible that I couldn't wear them anymore. But still, noticeable enough that I thought about buying a new pair just for the right shoe. 

Fast forward to yesterday. My wife and I did what we often do...Thrift store shopping for what we call "treasures." She went to look at something and I went to my usual sections which is the household items and the vinyl records crate. Suddenly, I looked over in the shoe department and whadda ya know a PAIR OR PURPLE LEVI CHUCKS!!!! Holy crap! I honestly could not make this up! And, they were MY size. 

But wait. It gets better. 

===This is the part you probably won't believe OR it will totally make you a believer in how the universe works===

I messed up my right shoe with the bleach. The pair of shoes at the thrift store had one perfect right shoe and the left shoe was discolored. The cashier told me the left shoe had been washed out by the sun, at the store, because it was in the display window. But she said she put the shoes on the rack in the thrift store anyway. When I told her the story of my shoe and why I was purchasing this pair she said, "GET OUTTA HERE!" lol She even told me to repeat the story to another cashier. lol

I'm sure several people walked right on by the shoes because of that discolored left shoe and the fact that now they no longer matched. Everyone except me. I needed the perfect shoe. The right shoe. Not the left.

You see where I'm going with this?

Those sneakers had my name on them. They were meant for me to see them. The universe knew I needed that shoe. They weren't meant for anyone else. The universe set everything into place long before I knew I would end up at that particular thrift store on yesterday. I got the message loud and clear. What's meant for you...will find its way to you.

Don't look at this as just a pair of shoes. I know I sure don't. This is just one of the many examples of how the universe makes sure you get what's meant for you. You don't have to worry it into place or stress over it. When things don't happen or you don't get what you want just say to yourself with confidence "something else will come my way." Something perfect and tailor-made just for you! This small work of the universe gave me peace with a lot of things. If God gave me something as simple as the "right shoe" I know He will give me everything I need to make it in life. He will also do the same for you. Just trust and listen to the universe along your journey. In your case, it may be a job, house or relationship. Whatever it is...please know that when something is truly meant for you it will be. 

Live~Love~Laugh

Chanel-

Moving Past Your Fears!

So many people are living limited and joy-less lives because of their fears. I love the above picture because that's exactly what we do... FEED fears! We reach back into our past and dig up old situations that help our fears to grow. We search the internet for Dr.Google to further intensify our fears. We seek the counsel of those people who will not hesitate to "keep it real" with us by offering worse case scenario's to our fears. Fear is a crippling spirit. It limits us, it depresses us and nothing good ever comes from it. Period.

We will all feel fear in our lives but we don't have to let it keep us from living fully in each moment we are blessed to have. It's okay to acknowledge that you are afraid and to be open about the things you fear but it's NOT okay to let that spirit overtake you. God has not given us the spirit of fear. He has given us the promises of a sound, stable and peaceful mind if we keep our thoughts rooted in His word. 

The tricky thing about fear is that it almost always brings along its trusty pals... worry, doubt, sadness, anxiety and panic. When we fear something we worry about it. We allow it to consume our thoughts and emotions. We begin to doubt IF things will work out. We begin to be sad and our emotional state is altered. We then kick into high gear trying to figure our how things will work out...what we can do to solve it and then anxiety and panic takes us over the top! 

 As you can see, our fears have the ability to totally take our eyes and minds off our center. Fear also negatively impacts your health. 

Oftentimes we stress and worry about things in the future. We paint elaborate events in our minds about how situations will play out. And it's almost always negative. We kill our own spirits with these horrible and dreadful endings! 

Instead of living engulfed by whatever it is that you fear give it to God. Surrender the situation or problem over to the one who is in control. Instead of making yourself sick and living everyday worrying about things turn it over to a God that is and always has been in control. Be at peace knowing that He is better able to handle things and knows exactly how it will all play out in the end. Don't fear or worry about what tomorrow may or may not hold. Live in this very moment enjoying life. 

Pray, seek peace and have full confidence in God's ability to lead and direct. 

"If you're going to worry, Don't Pray. And if you've prayed, don't worry. God's got you!"

Positive Message. Spread it!

I was almost on the verge of quitting blog world. I started this blog because I feel God has allowed me to go through certain things in life to help other people. He allowed me to go through pain, suffering, joy, amazing accomplishments etc...to tell someone else that it DOES get better and everything that happens in your life has purpose. I felt that blogging was an opportunity for me to reach people all over the world in search of a positive word. 

I received an email from someone on my blog roll list asking me to "please remove me from this blog/list." Immediately I could not understand why someone would want to be removed from my blog list when all I've ever tried to do with it was uplift and encourage people. That message made me question if I should even continue with it. I mean, I only send out one blog email per month so it wasn't like I was spamming with several entries every single day! It was disappointing and could have possibly ended what I feel God laid on my heart to do.

But it didn't. 

I know now, it's not about me, it's about Him and He will lead who He wants to this blog.

What I've discovered along this journey is that not everyone will receive the message I bring. Not everyone wants to read just how GREAT God is. Not everyone wants to read week after week or month after month how God has delivered, answered prayers, made a way or healed a loved one. I also had to learn how to not internalize the request of that individual. It's not me that this person wanted to disconnected from...it is the message I bring. Gods message. I know that now. That's not my battle to fight. God will lead the right people to this blog at the precise moment they need it. For bloggers, the most important thing to us is that somehow, someway our words make a difference and it reaches the intended target and in this case that would be YOU!

When you find yourself on the verge of giving up on spreading positivity, encouragement, joy, and uplifting word...don't! There are people who need it. There are people searching the internet right now trying to find a tailor-made word to get them through whatever season they may be in. They need you to keep spreading the word and being obedient. When I was going through a stormy season of my life, it was a blog that helped me get through the day. His words spoke to me and encouraged me to keep on pressing. You never know who will stumble across your blog searching for a word for their moment. Continue to let your words help people.  

Updates and such.....

It's been way too long ...but a much needed and necessary break from blog world.

Where do I start....well, first and foremost I thank God for guiding me through these past few months with clarity and peace. I had to step back from blogging to keep my head clear and focus where it needed to be. I had to concentrate on those areas of my own life that God was dealing with and that meant I had to clear my space spiritually, emotionally and physically in order for that to happen. Time has been moving SO fast and by the end of my day all I had the desire to do was get some rest! So, for all the phone calls I couldn't answer, emails I never got around to replying to, text messages that went unanswered PLEASE charge it to my head and not my heart. 

Wedding: 

SEVEN Days! One week. NEXT Friday!!.....I will be saying "I do" to thee most amazing woman everrrrr! She has been such a blessing to not only my life but so many others. I really can't believe it's actually happening! I'm thankful for every failed relationship, disappointment, heartbreak, tough life lesson and experience that has prepared ME to be the person I am. It was in those situations that I can now see I was being tested, molded and crafted to receive the blessing I had been praying for. A life partner. When I initially started praying for someone I could spend forever with, I wasn't ready. But with the words I released from my mouth to God's ears... He would prepare me. He used so many situations and people to humble me, teach me and test me...to see if I was ready for what I prayed for. I can now say by faith, I passed! And next Friday, July 20th my obedience and faithfulness to HIM...will be rewarded when I marry the one person that I am so blessed to have in my life.

Blessings:

Just over a month ago, I formed a small intimate prayer group for something Nicole and I laid before God. After trying so long to obtain it on our own, I knew we had to take everything up a notch. Spiritually.We had done all we could humanly do and....nothing. I sent an "I need you all praying like you've never prayed before" text out and within minutes they were ON it! For a week straight we all stayed in constant prayer and believed it would come to be. I never doubted. I never wavered in my faith. I knew the power of prayer and that's all I could lean on. After that week...the group continued to lift us up. Saying our names and lifting up a very specific prayer. You cannot tell me there is no God because on 07-07-12...that prayer was answered! There is no other explanation. No other justification. It HAD to be God. I LOVE when He does that! I just want to thank those folks for their unselfish prayers on our behalf. No words could ever explain how grateful we are for you and we in turn pray for YOU. 

So, I probably won't do another entry until after I am officially hitched! *smile* I am looking forward to a much needed honeymoon and relaxation! I really appreciate each and everyone of you reading this blog. I know it wasn't my "normal" kinda entry but if you only take one thing from this one PLEASE let it be....Prayer works! And, everything you may be going through at this moment may seem like it's leading nowhere, but I am living proof how your "nowhere" seasons in life can be the perfect set up for ALL of your hearts desires coming to be.

Love you all.

Chanel-

"The Devil Made Me Do It"

"The Devil Made Me Do It"

I pray everyone is in the best health and spirits. I also hope that you're still being mindful of paying it forward and #Love365. A little bit of genuine niceness goes such a long way.

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I laughed when I came across this picture because A. I wasn't even born (I don't think) when Flip Wilson was at his antics and B. It SO applies to this blog in some respects.

I've found that we give the devil way too much credit. Well, let me speak for myself... When things are going wrong, or not the way I want them to, when everything seems to be falling down around me, when all hell just seems to be breaking loose...I say, "The devil is just SO busy!" I think culturally we have been programmed to think that when things are not going according to plan or when "bad things" are happening OR "good things" are not happening (that's a whole nother' blog) we immediately give credit to the devil. Sometimes, there are evil forces at play and the devil IS busy but sometimes it has nothing to do with him at all. 

What life has taught me is that sometimes God allows things to happen or not happen to build us. To make us. To shape us. Lessons that come in the form of tests, trials, frustrating predicaments, heartbreak and loss. He allows our finances, health, relationships, children, homes etc to come under attack not to destroy us but to teach us something. And trust me, He KNOWS exactly what to use to get your attention. I've learned some of my greatest lessons during seasons where I thought the devil was surely out to get me! But it turned out not to be the devil...but God shaping, molding and developing my character. I know this because the end results were positive, wonderful and morphed me into the person I am today. I'm far from perfect and I have situations going on in my life at THIS moment where I'm only standing because of my faith but I know that God is with me so I have to press and not lose focus. 

There may be something that is going on in your life right now where you feel like you are under attack. There may be situations that make you question is God even with you. Life may have dealt you some blows that have you feeling like you are the devil's target and you are growing weak. To that I say...maybe, but...it also may be God trying to bless you with something amazing and you have to go through whatever you're going through to be ready for it when it comes. This season may just be your conditioning for your blessing. Through it all you have to pray and be mindful that the rain doesn't last forever. The devil doesn't have reign over your life so stop giving him credit! Stand firm, keep the faith and feel special that God is trusting you to pass this test. 

Have a Super week!

Chanel-

Transparency Series #2

(One picture from our Engagement Photo Shoot! #Shoutout to Marsalis Images)

Updates:

School - Since my last transparency blog I did drop the one late class. It was just too much for me and it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders not having to be in class until 11pm. I am doing very well in the Urban Crime Patterns class and I hope to pull out an A. I have also registered for the Fall semester (although I said I was going to drop out) lol. I mean, the way I see it I will just keep on until either I'm done or life happens and I just don't go anymore. Either way I'm okay with it. So...school stuff is smooth and no complaints in that department.

Career - I REALLY need ya'll praying for a position I am applying for. It would be the BEST Job ever at this juncture of my life. I honestly think the job was created JUST for me. I made a few calls, sent out my info and all I can do now is pray that everything falls into the right hands! I'm trying not to think about it too much because I know it will drive me nuts! Let's just say it would be an awesome opportunity. God knows what I need and what my passion is so I have no doubt that IF it's meant for me...all of the things that need to come with it will be. So I release it into the universe. It's gonna be weird leaving the Forensics Field. But I know the time has come. I'm no longer driven or passionate about what I do. I DO what I'm supposed to do but I'm just not challenged nor am I excited about it anymore. I've been feeling this way for about 2 years now. I have actively been looking for another job for about that long as well so prayerfully my TIME has come! Please take a few moments to send some UP for MY new job!! *I'm speaking as though it already is!!*

Love -  Me and my other half are doing wonderful! It's such a blessing. We will have our last marriage counseling session at the end of May. We started back in August. It has really been a rewarding experience for us. I have actually enjoyed it. We both have. We went into this very serious and in agreement that we would not take the next step forward without completing counseling. Besides, I HAD to lock it down...nobody is going to cook for me EVERY night, pack my lunch EVERY day, Count my calories for me, LOVE family structure the way I do, let me be an individual, put up with my antics AND share my same sense of humor like her! Ha! We will keep our therapist info on standby and schedule appointments as needed in the future but for now we are done! The Big day is quickly approaching, 07/20! *save the dates will go out next week so if you get the special telegram....you're on the list~* If not, please know that in order to stay within our budget we HAD to make some tough calls as to who we could invite. It's going to be very small and intimate with 50 guests. We are very excited about EVERYTHING that's going on in our lives now and all I can say is having Christ as the center and foundation of your relationship makes ALL the difference. 

Friends - I love ya'll so much! I honestly don't know how I would keep my sanity with out my Ace's aka Stunts and Sold out Shows crew. lol There is nothing like a balanced life with true and genuine friends you can always count on. I am so grateful for each of you. Even with all your antics and foolishness! lol I know I tell ya'll all the time but I just wanted a special place in this blog for YOU.

That's all for now............

Have a GREAT week!

Chanel-

When It's Time to Stand Still

When It's Time to Stand Still

Hey Everyone! #Love365 is still in full swing! 

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This blog will speak to someone that's in that dreaded season of standing still. Trust me, I know that season all too well. I've been there. In fact, we've all been there at some point in our lives. Standing still is by far one of the most difficult seasons to be in because it's the time when you must surrender all control and....wait. Waiting means you must have patience. Patience means the when is totally out of your control. That's the hard part. Especially when you are waiting for something that you desire so much. You know what they say, "a watched pot never boils." 

Standing still is difficult because chances are you've already done all you can do to either make something happen, change something or avoid something. Time can seem so unfair. Days seem like weeks, weeks seem like months and all you can do is....wait. It's hard to see life happening for other people and you seem to be stuck in a place where no matter what you do there just does not seem to be forward movement. You're forced to be in what seems like a stagnant place while other people seem to be traveling light years through time. I will testify that being in the standing still season will produce more tears, hurt feelings, and more down emotions than up. It down-right sucks! In that season I cried, felt like life was just so unfair, lost sleep, lost weight and I was just plain unhappy.

But God.

I will tell you that the standing still season was one of the best seasons of my life. Although I could not see it at the time. My character was reformed in that season. My faith was birthed in that season. My trust in God was   manifested in that season. My mind was renewed in that season. My world was flipped and turned upside down in that season but.....I came out a stronger, wiser and FAR BETTER person. What I thought I needed so bad I discovered I really didn't need it at all. I wanted one thing but gained more that I can ever type in this blog! 

Standing still was just what I needed. It makes you stop and work on your inner self. If I can be honest with you and give someone hope...the standing still season is where you REALLY need to be excited! That is when God is working behind the scenes and something wonderful is waiting for you on the other end. If you just hang in there and truly get the lesson that is being taught things will be better than you've ever imagined. Please trust me on that. Hold on to the fact that sometimes God has to shut you off from everyone and everything and put your "happenings" on hold to deal with YOU. 

Perhaps He's preparing you for something you've been praying for and you must go through this season to be ready for it! That alone should help you weather this season with a different frame of mind! Don't give up. Hang in there! There is a blessing waiting for you when you pray and stand still. I pray this helps someone...

"After you've done all you can. You just stand."

Chanel-

You must have Faith.

Faith

#Love365 is making a difference! If you are participating in the #Love365 movement and have positive reports to tell...do share! I would love to hear some of the ways in which you are showing love EVERY day.

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The topic for this blog is Faith.  I'm sure many of you have some amazing stories of how you prayed...and God answered! There is nothing like sending a prayer from your mouth to Gods ears and having it answered. Not only answered but things work out in such a way that you KNOW it's only God because of how smooth and effortless things just fall into place! 

Prayer must be backed up by faith. Once you send your request or petition to God you have to believe by faith that if that request is indeed in His will...it SHALL be answered. You can't doubt. You have to stand firm and believe that it will all work out for your good. You have to have faith that despite what you see God knows all and will come to your rescue. 

What do I mean by that? Let me give you my testimony: I recently encountered several things that seemed to be coming at me all at once! Things that I could not do myself and things that I know only God could resolve or make happen. For those of you who know me...you know I am a work in progress when it comes to worry. But hey, who isn't. *smile* I knew that the only way things would work out was if God himself did it. No money, scheme, resource or person could do it. I worried, I cried, I lost sleep, I was feeling down and it all just consumed me. Then one day in service it hit me..."Wait, I don't have to worry when I can pray." It really was that simple once I came to my senses. I wrote the items on a piece of paper. I prayed and told God I could not fix any of them on my own. I threw the pieces of paper in the trash on my way out of church promising that I would NOT take them back home! I would not worry or lose anymore sleep over things I had NO control over. It felt so liberating to cast my situations on God and not worry. I slept so well that night and we had a wonderful day after church. I'm not saying they never crossed my mind from time to time but when they did, I prayed and let them go. Within a few weeks God had answered my prayers! Thank you JESUS!

Lesson Learned: Sometimes in life things will happen that you cannot handle or control on your own. As humans we always want to fix things on our own. I believe God lets certain things come to us to show us that we must depend on Him. People say, "God won't put more on you than you can handle." I don't believe that! I think He DOES...because it's in THOSE times that we realize we are not God! We must depend on Him and he knows exactly what situations to use to show us that. Life will put your back against the wall and you have no place else to turn BUT to God. He does that so when He does move there is NO way you can explain it away to anything or anyone else. Those tests are faith builders. You have to trust that if God did it before He can and will do it again! 

What are you praying for? Do you have the faith to back up your prayer? Try it and see just how amazing God is! I am a living testimony of how prayer AND faith WORKS!

Have a super day! Love you all.

Chanel-

Love. Life. Joy.

Love. Life. Joy

Happy Valentine's Day 2012!

Love: A powerful motivator. Love will make you feel on top of the world...or down in the dumps. Love is something everyone desires. Love must be nurtured and cherished each and every day. Make the commitment to "Love 365" days a year. That is the key to really experiencing the fullness that love has to offer. I call it Love in the bank. Making deposits to your Love account on sunny days so when the storms come you can borrow a little sunshine to get you through. Love with no expectations. Love when it's unexpected. Love like the person will not be here from one moment to the next. Love unconditional. I've dedicated to the "Love 365 Challenge." I will do something everyday to show my love and dedication. Just little things…nothing big or grand. Simply small gestures of love to cherish each and every day you are blessed to have it. Paint her fingernails, leave a love note in his/her lunch bag, sing a song, write a poem...the simple small things to show them love. I challenge you all to do the same. So, Get Busy "Loving!"

Life: Has a funny way of happening when we are trying to figure it all out. It constantly does what it is intended to do....go on. Life is unique in that it has already been scripted. We are just mere cast members in the ever evolving production. Life is precious. Life is filled with ups and downs. Life can bring you to your knees and produce blows that can literally take your breath away. Life can bring you so much happiness, excitement, and some of the BEST moments you've ever experienced. Life is unpredictable. One minute you have not a care in the world...the next all hell has broken loose! The one thing we all know is that we only get ONE life to live so we must make the best of it.

Joy: The biggest of them all. And purpose of this blog. As we celebrate Valentine's Day we must keep love and life in perspective. Humanly love may come and go. You may have the perfect Valentine or none at all. Love may have you on top of the world today! Love may also have you cringing at the sight of a red balloon or flowers. Love and Life may have you in a place where you really will just be glad when February 14th is OVER. As unpredictable and fickle as life and love are...there is nothing like Joy. Joy comes from within. Joy is the peace within even when love and life aren't a bed of roses. Joy is knowing that no matter what's going on around you there is inner peace. 

God gives Joy. External circumstances and people give you happiness. Joy is something God promised to give us and NEVER take away regardless of how we act, what we do or what decisions we make. Happiness is temporary. It is contingent upon people, life and circumstances. We have money...we are happy. We have love...we are happy. We have great heath...we are happy. Everything is going according to our plans...we are happy.

You have JOY no matter what. Strive to embrace Joy in everything. Joy is priceless. It will make the difference in your attitude, outlook and responses. I hope this helps someone. I know it helped me :)

Enjoy your Valentine's day!

(I love you Sweetpea)

Chanel-

Transparency Series #1

I wanted to do something different.

This Blog isn't my typical entry.


I decided to do a blog entry just to get my thoughts recorded. I will call it my "Transparency Series." I realize that blogs are more authentic when people get to read/see vulnerability in the writer. So much has happened in the past two weeks. Some really wonderful things and some things I wish would just go away! I can say that my faith has increased here lately because for the first time in my life I realize I cannot do this thing called life without handing things over to God. I would literally worry myself into an early grave. It's like, when something goes wrong I obsess over it. Worrying about how I'm going to "fix" it..what will the outcome be? Things like that. I had to stop and say. "If I keep down this road...I'm going to cause all kinds of health problems and probably not live a authentic life." So, I decided to release control. I do what I can...and I make sure I'm living the best life I can...but other than that..I release the need to fix problems, my future or anything therein. I just can't do it. I know this is exactly where God wanted me to be all along. I just had to get tired of being tired. I must add...I have peace with it all and I like this feeling :)
For the first time in my life I'm seriously considering hanging up my school career. I have my AS and my BS degree. I am 30 credits into my MS. I'm an "A" student and school comes easy for me. But..I'm tired. My attention span at 35 is NOT the same as it was at 25. These late night 11pm classes are killing me! Especially since I've been up since 6am and had to put in 8 hours at my full-time job! It's just too much at this point. I'm going to be married soon and prayerfully having my first kid this year. School just doesn't fit into the picture anymore. I know people will say.."you're SO close to finishing!" But, they are not the ones literally waking up after a long night in school wanting to cry when it's time to get up for work the next morning. If it's meant for me to go back at some point in my life, I will. For now...I'm really just feeling like that season is over for me.
I have faith that things will work out for EVERYTHING I'm facing in this season. The baby, job, school, house, finances, health...everything. Faith is not a feeling. It's believing that despite what you see...you believe that somehow, some way...God will make a way and come through on your behalf. As He's done SO many times before.

Tired.
Expecting The Great.

I've Changed

I've Changed!

"When someone says that "You've changed"... it's usually because you've stopped living your life their way."

Hey Everyone! I pray that all is well and this blog finds each of you in the best physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. 

The above picture sums up this blog. I LOVE it! I guess I have to come from a personal place with this blog to make it more authentic. I think that using my own personal experiences every now and again is what makes MY blog unique. I'm coming from an intimate place...a real place and I hope that through my sharing people will see themselves and find peace. 

Over the past two years...my life has gone through a major transformation. Major. Sometimes I look at myself, my actions, my thought process and even I can't believe THIS is me. It's funny how life has a way of doing that. Life experiences and situations...have a way of either making you or breaking you. In my situation...I was MADE. Into a new creature. In this transformation, I've had people literally tell me, "you've changed" and at first my response was, "no, I'm the same!" I took slight offense to people telling me that I was this different person and all I could see was the same ole' me. 

A few people drifted away from me, new folks floated into my space, some friendships were challenged, some friendships had to end, and some situations were magnified times a trillion. I began to have clarity on a LOT of things. People who I thought would always be in my life...were no longer. People who I never imagined in a million years became closer than ever. Some people opted not to deal with me anymore. Some people put me at a distance. Some people talked about me behind my back. Some cheered me on. Some people found inspiration in the "new me" and expressed it in many forms. Some people had great difficulty accepting me into their lives when I was no longer the person they framed me to be. Some people were able to find commonalities with where they were and where I am and our bonds grew stronger. Some people viewed me as "fake" or not "keeping it real" anymore. Some people simply didn't care one way or the other...because to them, regardless of the changes that were made in my life...to them, I was still Chanel. Either way...I was okay with how the people in my life felt. I accepted the fact that I cannot change people...I am only accountable for myself. I would not be honest if I didn't say that some reactions hurt me but I also would not be honest if I didn't say, I quickly got over it. 

Throughout this whole experience, all I can say to everyone that knows me is that God has a funny sense of humor. He has an amazing way of showing you so many things about YOU that you may not have been aware of before. He has a way to making things come to a halt in your small little world before opening your eyes to the big picture. He has a way of using things in your life to humble you. To shape and mold you and to redirect you. That’s why I've changed. I now see what things are important and what things are not. I think differently. I react differently. I process things from a different perspective. No, I'm not perfect by ANY MEANS but I am under new management. My new life has Christ as the center and that means I can't do just any and everything. I DO feel bad when I say/do certain stuff. I am convicted when I say/do something that isn't right. I DO have a new sense of compassion and empathy for people. I no longer find certain things "fun" and I no longer desire some of the things I used to. Yes, I have changed. I am held accountable for my actions. I have my faults. My short-comings and my issues that I still deal with. But I am a new person. A better person. I still joke, entertain, and live an AMAZING life! I'm happy with who I am. I'm proud of who I am. And when the day ends...I sleep peacefully at night knowing yes I've changed. But...for the better.

Have an amazing day!!!

Chanel-

A Fresh Start...STOP beating yourself up!

A Fresh Start.....STOP beating yourself up!

Happy New Year Everyone! We are in the land of the living to see a brand new year. That in itself is a blessing. I pray 2012 will be an amazing year for each of you! I have a few "BIG Ticket" items on my prayer list for 2012 so only time will tell what this year has for me. I'm excited and thankful...in advance.

With the New Year...this blog WILL speak to someone, "You have a Fresh start...so STOP beating yourself up about it!" Whatever "it" is. Stop being so hard on yourself. If you have lived to see 2012...you were granted a fresh start to correct it, achieve it, repair it, confront it and obtain it! Thank God for fresh starts! Oftentimes, we are our own worst enemy when it comes to tormenting ourselves. We think worse of ourselves than anyone else does. We create an internal environment of mentally beating ourselves to a pulp over situations we cannot go back and change. There are people reading this blog right now that are still dealing with the guilt of situations that occurred months...even years ago! There must come a time when you confront whatever it is....acknowledge any wrong doing and then leave it alone. We are always taught to forgive other people but more importantly...we must learn how to forgive ourselves. You will be amazed just how many people can forgive others before they forgive themselves. It's impossible to move forward if you are weighed down by the guilt of something you said, something you did (or didn't do) or just not making the best decision in a given situation. 

Your life is not ONLY about the destination. It's about the journey. Along this journey we will make mistakes, we may hurt those people that are close to us and we may fall short of our standards for ourselves at times. Perhaps you feel like you haven't done all you should to be where you want to be in life, maybe you find yourself in a situation that you know could be better. Whatever you are dealing with that causes you to beat yourself up...STOP. This is a NEW Year and you've been given a fresh start. Don't let the enemy convince you that it's too late! Too late to apologize, too late to make amends, too late to address an issue, too late to achieve your goals, to pursue your dreams,  to experience the full joy of this precious life we're been granted! It's NOT too late! With each day we are given a new start and a fresh opportunity to get this thing called life right. 

Let today be YOUR day. Free yourself....you've been given a fresh start.

Have an amazing week!

Chanel-