Thanksgiving 2011

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

My, what a difference a year makes. 365 days granted to do things differently, evolve & self-reflect. Thanksgiving is one of my three favorite holidays. There are no gifts. No expectations. No price-tags. In my eyes, it's the only holiday that is truly about family. Families sharing laughter, great food and creating memories. I reflect back to last year and it wasn't one of my best memories for Thanksgiving. I had such high hopes for it. But, again...my, what a difference a year makes. 

For me, this Thanksgiving is really special. This year I celebrate Thanksgiving: 

 Engaged (the real kind, like with a ring & more importantly the commitment behind it *smiles*)

Wedding date set

 Celebrated my 35th birthday

God willing - kids in the forecast

An amazing partner

A deeper spiritual connection

The best financial position I've EVER been in my life due to no credit of my own (thank YOU Lord)

Super fantastic Awesome genuine friends

A supportive family that is small in numbers but mighty in love

Healthy

And in my right frame of mind

After the Spring Semester, I will be 3 classes away from finishing Graduate School!

What more could I ask for? Nothing!

I have so much to be thankful for and I know all of my blessings come from God. Without Him I am nothing. I'm a work in progress but I'm loving my under construction phase! It's not always easy and it doesn't always feel good but I am indeed Stronger~Better~ & Wiser, than I've ever been.

Love up on your family & friends this Thanksgiving....we never know who may or may not be with us from year to year so, don't take anything for granted. Create new memories & new traditions. Let this be the BEST Thanksgiving you've experienced thus far. I love you all.

Enjoy your Holiday.

Chanel-

"Let It GO!"

'Let It GO!"

 Hey Everyone! I pray all is well with you. It's already November! Wow. The year is almost over and I can say from personal experience, 2011 has been an amazing year! If you would have told me just one year ago that I would be where I am, I would NOT have believed it myself. All I can say is GOD IS GREAT!

This blog is simply titled, "Let it go." I'm not talking about negative things here...I'm specifically talking about the dreams & desires of your heart. Let it go. The things you've been praying for, seeking & desiring. Let it go. Your goals, your aspirations, your ideal future. Let it go. The thing that is so sweet to you at this very moment in your life...you day dream, you obsess, you ponder... over if or when it will come to reality. Let it go.

After you've done the work. Put in the effort. Whisper your desires to the Universe. Release it & Let it go.

I know this is harder for some of us than others. I know I have to work at it daily. But, the one thing I do know is that YOU can only do but so much. After you've put in the work to set the wheels of your desires in motion...the universe is the ultimate deciding factor in terms of if, when, where & how it all unfolds. That I know.  I found in my journey that when you release those things you desire and simply live, they will oftentimes fall into your lap with little to no effort. When you least expect it. Things just....happen. At the perfect time, under the perfect circumstances it will all fall into place. THAT'S when you know it's meant to be. When things just flow and simply fall into place. It's divine timing. If it's meant to be it will be. You cannot keep obsessing over it, worrying about if it will happen or when. Take it as far as you humanly can...then release it back to the universe. 

God knows your dreams, your desires and your ultimate destiny. If the thing you pray for doesn't come in the exact form or timing you expect...please know one thing for sure...when He blesses you, it will be far greater than you could have ever imagined and the timing will be perfect. 

Testimony: I prayed for something very specific. I thought I knew what I needed and when I needed it. I devoted time, energy and gave it 100% of myself. I did all I could. I gave it my all and I thought if I just did that...everything would work out! I couldn't understand why things weren't. I tried so hard to make it a success. But it came to an end. God hit the breaks on it. I know it was Him. But, it was my test. I heard Him say: "You passed the test. NOW, I will bless you." You see, I was doing the right things, even though my intentions were always misread. I was sacrificing for others before myself. I was faithful. I was true. I was dedicated. I was using all the tools I learned the year prior to help me be a better person. I was praying and staying obedient through it all...even though things seemed unfair. I knew my heart was in the right place even when things started to fall apart. Then....I let it go. And out of nowhere...He opened the windows of heaven and blessed me far greater than I could have EVER imagined! I mean, when I tell you things have happened for me this year that only GOD could have done. Every area of my life that came under attack the months and year before were restored 10 times! I watched it all be given back to me bigger and better than it was before. I watched it all happen right before my eyes! He kept his promise to me, that if I could just hold on and make it through my storm...he would restore. More importantly, I learn some valuable life lessons in that season and I'm thankful for the experiences. I would not be the person I am today had it not been for that season of my life. It always brings me to tears because I know the season I had to get through...to get to this side. It was painful, lonely, frustrating & scary. But I held on and released my desires to the Universe and today I stand strong, humble and thankful! 

So, let it Go & know that if it's meant for you...your name is already on it, and it will be granted to you in due season. Hold on.

Have an amazing week!

Chanel-

Time. And Emotional Wounds.

Time. And Emotional Wounds.

Hello Everyone! It's been a minute but I finally feel like I'm in a cruise control mode with the semester starting,    saying farewell to an amazing 8 day 7 night vacation, a few big Served Chilled Bartending private events, and family planning health appointments every other week...and making sure the home is prepared for the upcoming winter season. It's been so much going on but things have calmed down now so I can create another blog entry.

Pay It Forward: While in Clearwater, Florida for the day...I gave a young man and his family a parking meter slip so they did not have to pay. I paid $10 for a max ticket and it was still about 10 hours left to be used.

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This blog will focus on the issue of time, wounds and healing. Think back to a situation in your life that really had a strong hold over you...be it tears, pain, anger, frustration, confusion worry etc. Think about how much of an impact it had on your thoughts, daily function, sleeping & eating habits, mood etc. Now, does that situation still have the same effects on you & your life? Probably not. 

Speaking from personal experiences I can honestly say that I truly thank God that those things that held me captive emotionally, spiritually & physically no longer have power or a place in my life! It's like, you realize in a stolen moment, "hey...that no longer gets to me like it used to!" Things that really had the ability to change your mood, personality and mind-set no longer affect you in any way. That's such a blessing. I say that because you wiould be surprised how many people get stuck in situations and years later they are still allowing those things to have power over them. 

I'm going to disagree with the quote: "Time heals all wounds." I'm going to say that it isn't just time but what you do WITH the time. You can have all the time in the world but if your mind, heart and outlook aren’t changed for the positive...you will still be wounded, broken & unable to move forward with your life. So, let's change that to: "Constructive Time...heals all wounds." I would have never made it through my "wound season" if I didn't change my outlook about life, return to the center of my life & obtained the lesson from the situations. Those are key. There is a lesson & purpose in every situation. You cannot rely on time alone. You must be proactive in your healing, deliverance & victory. There are still some people out there waiting on "time" to heal what their mind continues to inflict injury upon. A sore doesn't heal if continuously pick at it. No matter how much time passes. You have to give it the proper care and protection to heal properly. The same rules apply to emotional & spiritual wounds.

Pray~Live~Heal~Rejoyce!

Have an amazing week!

Chanel-

A New You!

A New You!

"I really Love the ME that I have become." (c) Chanel Bastfield

Happy Monday Everyone! I pray you had a great weekend. Are you still paying it forward? .....

This week's blog is really dear to me, not that they all aren't... but this one is special. I was having a conversation with a friend & I made the following statement: "I really Love the ME that I have become."   I reflected on my life, the person I was and the person I have evolved into and I've come to realize, I really LOVE ME! It's not that my life is perfect. Far from it. But, I've made changes in my life that have developed me into a better person. Not perfect, but better. My decisions are different, my perspective is different, my attitude is different, my patience has gotten A LOT better, my appreciation for life has increased, my desire to help others has intensified, my outlook about forgiveness has changed...etc. If it had not been for the storms of my life, perhaps I would not be here. So, today...I can say I'm thankful for them. While going thru it I couldn't but now on the other side I am thankful. Life happens and you can either let your situations define you or you can learn from them and become a better person. I thank God for the mind to learn from my situations. So, when people tell me "I've changed" I take it as a compliment! No, I'm NOT involved in some of the things I used to be involved with. No, I don't do some of the stuff I used to do. Yes, I DO have a conscious & that prevents me from participating in certain things. Yes, I have made mistakes. Yes, I have done plenty of things that I am not proud of. But...It was those things that have shaped and molded me and... I am New! Still a work in progress...but who isn't? I have a long way to go but I can honestly say, love the road that I'm now on. Today, I just feel better about myself. And for that I'm Proud!

You may be in the same place. Where things aren't perfect externally, but internally you're just really in a great space! You may not have the job, partner, finances, home, car etc...but you can have an internal abundance that makes you view your "lack" in a totally different light. You may lose some friends, relationships etc but don't give up on this journey! Just continue to show love, be understanding, non-judgmental, empathetic & be at peace. Can you honestly say that you love the person you are today? Can you honestly say that thru it all...you're a far better person today than you were, let's say a year ago? If so...celebrate, you should be proud of yourself. I know I sure am! *smile*

Have a wonderful week!

Chanel-

When a Door Closes

When a Door Closes

Hello Everyone! I pray your week has been great thus far. Please take some time to enjoy this beautiful weather and do something nice for yourself. You deserve it!

I was listening to a word this week that spoke to me loud and clear. Thus me sharing with you in this week’s blog, "When a Door closes." The message was simple but so deep enhanced by the mental picture I received while listening. When a door closes....God is redirecting you. Simple. The picture and quote above shows you what was in my head as I listened to the message. Redirection. Meaning...you are headed in the wrong direction and in order for you to become your authentic self, God will shut the door to redirect you. I know we've all heard the "when one door closes...another one opens" saying, and this is very true but I want to zero in on the closed door for this blog.

The closure is/was not rejection (someone needed to hear that...I know I did) but the universe exercising redirection. Oftentimes when doors close, we look at it from a negative perspective or take it as rejection. Followed by us being disappointed, crushed, confused & uninspired. Instead, see it as the door had  to be closed in order for you to receive what has YOUR name on it. We spend way too much time focused on the door that has shut that we don't see the wonderful opportunities that will manifest via the open one. Ones that in fact may already BE manifesting in your life! The door is shut. Accept it and embrace it. Be excited about your life being redirected by the author OF your life. Accepting a closed door isn't always easy. Besides, we have our lives all mapped and planned out, right? (Sarcasm)

When a door shuts... many times, they led to situations, habits, relationships, jobs, major decisions, plans etc  that needed to either not happen or stop happening...for our own good, growth & destiny. There is something better waiting on you. Something that will far exceed your original plans and desires. The door was shut...to redirect you towards that certain something. Don't waste anymore time pulling and stressing over the closed door. Perhaps we didn't have the strength to close the door...or the common sense to. Either way...the universe did it for you. Be glad about that!

I pray this was JUST what someone needed to hear.

Have a super dooooper week!

Chanel-

Miss. Communication.

Miss. Communication.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Good Morning Everyone! I'm fresh from vacation and getting back into the swing of normal life! Vacations are so awesome but coming back to work takes effort to say the least. lol Are you still paying it forward? I am! It feels amazing to do something nice for someone and I can't stress it enough.

This weeks blog is about communication. How well do you communicate? How many times have you said something to someone and they totally misunderstood or misinterpreted what you said? How many times have the lines of communication been so morphed that you left the conversation feeling overwhelmed, confused and frustrated? Well, if I could write a book on just those few questions, I'd probably be rich! From personal experience I can share that I've been involved in certain situations where I've literally felt like I was speaking a foreign language to someone in my attempts to have a simple conversation with them. No matter how uncomplicated I spoke, they just never seemed to understand where I was coming from. No matter how much of a loving tone I put on my words, they just always seemed to read something negative. No matter how open tried to be with sharing of feelings, thoughts, ideas or perspectives, they always seemed to shut them down.

Trust me, I've had my share and to tell you the truth I walked away from those situations feeling like, "Why do they hear something totally different from what I'm saying??!" Then......It.....Hit......Me.

Communication is more than just the words you use, the tone and the delivery. Effective Communication has more to do with perception, life experiences and the battlefield of the mind. Notice I used effective here and that I feel is key. Many people have been hurt, abused, let down, disappointed, neglected etc and all these factors come into play when you are communicating even the simplest information to them. When you are attempting to have an emotionally heavy or difficult conversation with someone who has been hurt or disappointed so much in their lives...their perception of what you are actually saying can be jaded by what they've come accustom to. Hurt. Many people don't know how to have constructive conversations. Many people are actually thinking of a rebuttal as the other person speaks as opposed to actually listening. In addition, when the other person is speaking, they also have to fight through the damaged perceptions of their mind to decipher what they think the person means. Most times...we are wrong when we arrive at what we think someone means vs what they are saying to us. Now you can see how communication can get fuzzy and frustrating.

The next time you're having a difficult conversation, I challenge you: stop looking beyond the words and start hearing with a clear mind. Set aside past hurt, disappointments, anger, resentment etc and listen to what the other person is saying. Imagine how many great relationships can be saved if one or both individuals avoid listening with their hearts and the damaged portions of their minds....but rather the sound, healthy & rational regions. We've all done it. At some point in our lives we've all totally missed the mark when someone was attempting to communicate with us. This can cost us friendships, relationships, jobs etc. The picture above illustrates how people hear the exact same thing in many different ways. With practice, understanding & patience you can become a better communicator and those people in your circle will reap the benefit.

Have a great week!

Chanel-

Happy or Sad? You make the decision.

Happy or Sad? You make the decision.

"You know why it's hard to be happy? Because you find it hard to let go of the things that make you sad." (c) The Notebook

I pray you all had a great week! Summer is here and I'm actually very excited for what this summer will bring me. Bring on the heat!

 First, I want to thank all of you that comment, send me text messages, emails & calls about this blog. It really serves as an inspiration to me and it does keep me going, even when I don't feel like it. You keep me accountable. So, thank you...thank you and thank you again. It means so much.

I came across the above quote on twitter and I just had to blog and share with you all. I actually started this reframing about a year and a half ago...when I find myself thinking about things that make me sad, I immediately replace it with thoughts that make me happy. It works! It's common place to get in the dumps about something. In fact, life & experience will often bring us things that will not be very pleasant. But, we DO have a special ability to neutralize how we feel and how long we feel it.

There are some memories that I honestly don't want to remember...but I have to. Although very hurtful, painful and just down right sad...they've shaped and molded me into the person I am. So, I thank God now that those thoughts DO return every now and again. They serve as a reminder of how much I've overcome, how much He loves me, and how much stronger...better...& wiser I am.

Some people get "stuck" in constantly thinking about those things that make them sad. They refuse to let go of the pain. Not on purpose, but it's just the way their mind has been operating most of their lives. You know the folks, who almost never seem happy or joyful? They are almost always the black cloud when you speak to them or when they are in your company? They give negative and sad reports about everything in their lives!? It almost makes you want to ask, "Are you EVER happy?" "Do you EVER have a positive experience to share?!"

Do me a favor; share this blog link with them. This can be your Pay It Forward. Plant the seed of "letting go and really being happy" into their lives. This starts with reprogramming thoughts. I've beat this so many times but, the art of positive thinking is what I stand by and encourage in ALL areas of living. This goes for emotional health, spiritual health, physical health and mental health. It's a decision to make...do you want to always be in a state of unhappiness/saddness or happiness and joy? You decide.....

Have a great week!

Chanel-